I'm a former recovering pornography addict and I've been fighting my imaginations and failing miserably to fight my passions and I fear my ever drawing closer to backsliding and I'm too embarrassed to bring it up to other Christians and I've found nothing but love and encouragement on this board. Please someone pray for me? I've been caught in the lust of the flesh and I just feel broken and cast down and feel the desire to hang in the towel. My failure of self control has left me contrite and ashamed and I don't know where else to go. I can't see how Jesus can have patience on me when that's a sin I used to be a repeat offender in and I've slipped quite a bit these past few months with no one to confide and confess to. Not the physical act of porn but the imaginations and self gratification and masturbatory nature thereof. It's an addiction I've been very open with with fellow believers in my circle but given my recent slipping backwards I'm just too ashamed to say it to them. Forgive the shitpost please. I just don't even feel Jesus wants to put up with me anymore. Which I know is a lie but when you fall into sin it's hard to believe He can forgive an offense been forgiven before. Apologies if for any unsightliness I may have caused by sharing.
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Please don’t take this question the wrong way, I’m just trying to diagnose the issue.
Why do you believe you’re a Christian?
Not at all. I know it was none of my own accord He drew me. I never would have wanted Jesus without the Holy Spirit leading me and putting in me a desire for Him. Because He wanted me and loved me first. So I can't say I'm a Christian other than by grace that He saved and claimed me. I never would have gotten it of my own. This is just the world He pulled me out of. Fornication and sex addiction, mastutbation and porn (which I haven't watched since even before I was saved/he freed me of watching it before I converted) so my real struggle takes place in my mind and in my body and my still hard heart.
Welcome to being a new creature stuck in an old sin filled body. Paul dealt with this too, everyone does.
The best advice is to reckon yourself dead to this body and that you're no longer under the law and you are a completely free agent now to do as you please.
I know most religious people freak out over that because it sounds like I'm saying go out and sin all you want because you can. I'm not saying that but I am saying you have that liberty if you choose. You have to understand the freedom you have now because you're a new creature. People who have the freedom to legally own a firearm don't just go around shooting people because they can. They know the responsibility that comes with the freedom.
This Tennessee hillbilly has helped me a lot. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tXv0AVdmUI
Thank you for the thoughts sibling. I sense what you are saying is as Paul in the a Holy Spirit said it. I'm free in all things yet that doesn't permiss me to abuse my grace either. I will reflect on what you have said and test for the Holy Spirit. Thank you and God bless you in Jesus name, amen.
Yeah, it's a weird mind game. When you're told you shouldn't do something you want to do it more. When you're told you're free to do whatever, you tend to take a harder look at that thing you want to do.
Embrace that freedom you have through Christ. Lots of good stuff in Galatians. Really pay attention to every word, it's all there for a reason.