I'm a former recovering pornography addict and I've been fighting my imaginations and failing miserably to fight my passions and I fear my ever drawing closer to backsliding and I'm too embarrassed to bring it up to other Christians and I've found nothing but love and encouragement on this board. Please someone pray for me? I've been caught in the lust of the flesh and I just feel broken and cast down and feel the desire to hang in the towel. My failure of self control has left me contrite and ashamed and I don't know where else to go. I can't see how Jesus can have patience on me when that's a sin I used to be a repeat offender in and I've slipped quite a bit these past few months with no one to confide and confess to. Not the physical act of porn but the imaginations and self gratification and masturbatory nature thereof. It's an addiction I've been very open with with fellow believers in my circle but given my recent slipping backwards I'm just too ashamed to say it to them. Forgive the shitpost please. I just don't even feel Jesus wants to put up with me anymore. Which I know is a lie but when you fall into sin it's hard to believe He can forgive an offense been forgiven before. Apologies if for any unsightliness I may have caused by sharing.
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Just remember when your too humble and start to beat yourself up it turns into pride that you feel Jesus dying on the cross wasn't good enough for your sins. Jesus didn't die to forgive your sins once. However, we should not stay in our sins as the Gospel from paul's letters has told us. You need to find ways to fight the temptations, Read the bible/go to prayer when you get the feeling, or whatever hobbies you enjoy. Just know satan is using this against you now because he knows what bothers you I'm sure once you get a hang of fighting off his temptations it will slowly go away over time. But never give up and do not let the guilt beat you up give that burden to Jesus and know he loves you and will forgive you for ALL your sins. I will be praying for you fren.