This reminds me of a joke I read on Reddit some time ago. A gambler was asked to come to the IRS to discuss his income tax return. He arrived with his lawyer which isn't unusual. The tax man said we don't believe you could have made this much money gambling. The gambler said I am a very good gambler and I can prove it. The gambler said I bet you a thousand dollars I can bite my own eye. The tax man said ok and so the gambler took out his glass eye and bit it. Then the gambler said I will also bet you another thousand dollars that I can bit my other eye too. The tax man thought well he isn't blind so he thought he can't do it. So the tax man agreed. The gambler took out his false teeth and bit his other eye. The gambler then said you now owe me two thousand dollars and I will make one last bet and if I fail you owe me nothing. The tax man agreed. The gambler said I bet I can stand flat footed on side of your desk and piss across it to the trash can on the other side and not get a drop on your desk. The tax man thought that was impossible and agreed to it. The gambler then proceeded to try and do it and it went all over the desk. The tax man was so happy to get out of the 2 thousand dollar bet that he jumped for joy. Then the tax man looked at the lawyer and saw he was looking very unhappy. The tax man asked the lawyer what was wrong. The lawyer said before we got here he bet me 10 thousand dollars he could piss on your desk and you would be happy about it.