It's okay! I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

1: Everyone needs to stay indoors. 2: Everyone needs to wear full body protective gear (made in China). 3: Everyone needs to take an experimental shot that interacts with their DNA and hopefully (but probably doesn't) create immunity to the sun's heat and radiation. 4: Everyone needs to surrender all of their human rights and property to the government. Anyone who doesn't is a right-wing radical racist homophobic bigoted science denier. 5: Everyone needs to immediately stop driving, eating meat and immediately start eating bugs and weeds and taking public transportation (but really you won't be going anywhere because we are going to destroy your job.)

Remember: We're all in this together. (Actually all of YOU are, WE aren't)