Seriously, are you really going to knock on my door? I live on a very busy street and the Jehovah's Witnesses' can sense that I need saving so they always used to knock on my door. I started by not answering the door, but that did not seem to deter them. In fact, they only seemed more determined to share their message with me. Once in awhile I would answer the door, and I would pick an extreme religious view to share with them. This did not stop them either. However, one Saturday I discovered the secret. I answered the door in my underwear. They have not returned since then. I guess they immediately realized there was no saving me.
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They have certain bible quotes ready so they pull out the book, know which page to go to and start reading. Once I said lets see. I took his book leafing through and found his book didnt have Revelations. I asked them where it was, they shrugged their shoulders. I said where's the rest of the book? No answer. I handed the book back and said "I read the whole book, I know how the story ends". I've never seen them again.
I put a sign on my door stating that solicitors are not welcome, whether political, religious or otherwise. I have not had one single JW stop here for several years now after getting truly sick of their continuous "visits". And the last actual visit from them I had, I asked them the exact location of their church and the name of the person who they answer to for missionary work schedules etc. I said I would be calling that person.
Last time a pretty young girl (alone) called on me. I was on vallium at the time for severe backache (relaxes the muscles and the brain). I invited her in and stepped backwards. I tripped and fell backwards onto the sofa and lay there giggling. She left, hurriedly.
Now I have totally solved the problem; I rented my house to a family of JWs and left the country. I have to say that the tenants are totally reliable and pay 6 months in advance without fail.
My old neighbor would invite them in and school them on the Bible for 2 hours or so...I loved his approach....what if everyone educated these door knockers for the Vax and scared them straight out of knocking on doors by spitting truth at them...
Good idea but do it on the porch and not inside. These are government goobers, after all.
I stole this line from Beavis and Butthead. "One day the streets will flow with the blood of the Nonbelievers." Repeat if needed. Any fake accent at all helps.
Offer them TP for their bungholes!
The door to door vax will have an armed escort.
I invited the Mormon boys in. Seated them comfortably. Got them a cool drink of water. Asked them “What is it?”
They said they weren’t sure. They never got that far before. (J/K)
I always chased them too but they know about this cabal in some way and seemingly have been trying to warn everyone for years.
A corrupt government isn't a missionary
I answer the door and speak in German. They give up and go away.
When the JWs come to your door...Answer it asking "So are you guys here for the 3-way?