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posted ago by Lightworker15 ago by Lightworker15 +59 / -2

THIS IS THEIR WHOLE POST. It's long, but entertaining.

I'm over grieving. I hate my Q family for nearly destroying me and will NEVER forgive them (and no, that doesn't make me a bad person). Anyone full of rage because of what their Q family put them through?! I'm now learning to let this rage fuel me to rebuild a different life, without them.

2015 My life was the best it had ever been. Five years earlier I left an abusive marriage, put myself back in school, and now had a fabulous career, felt amazing, looked amazing from losing 50 lbs and 5 sizes, and everyone around me was inspired and knew me as the happy-go-lucky, hard workin' gal who perseveres through anything. Then I was diagnosed with a lifelong medical illness in 2016. I kept going and didn't let it affect my work, although I was starting to battle major anxiety because of it behind the scenes.

2017 Although raised as a far-right, fundamentalist Christian, I deconstructed (painful) and changed my political views somewhere around 2017, much to my mother's horror (this will tie in later with Q).

2019 Financial devastation hits. Without warning, my company goes under and I lose that fabulous career; then my (new) husband is laid off a few months after. Around this time my car engine goes out and I'm upside down in my loan with no car to drive. Depression hits and I take a much lesser-paying, miserable position (the only thing I could find), and my husband and I nearly lose our home during this time. It's a miracle we didn't. To say we had to 'cut back' would be an understatement. Out of being in survival-mode, my health was completely put on the back burner and I regained that 50 lbs during this time.

2020: The Q-cult takes over my entire family on my mom's side (the only family I have) at the start of the pandemic. I refuse to acknowledge or give in to my mom's, aunt, and uncle's praise of the Orange Monster in the White House, Q, and their fear-based tactics telling me I need to repent now before their god comes back (or before Q strikes - whichever happens first, who can keep up at this point?). Fauci is called a liar and a traitor, and masks are deemed "dangerous." On my social media accounts I ignore my family but refuse to stay silent. I continuously voice my support for BLM after George Floyd is murdered... And this is where things take a dark turn. My entire family (aunts, uncles, cousins) except for my mother, disown me and claim racism doesn't exist. My aunt sent my husband, who had only ever been nice to them, a text to say they were disowning us and ended it with, "At least we'll miss ____(my name)." I was then told by my mother, "Racism died when Reagan became president. Obama brought systemic racism back! You need to stop alienating your family members." My mother continues to stick up for them, then accidentally sends me a text where I find out they are all in a group text, bad mouthing me and my husband. For my mental health, I went no contact with my mom and stepdad... I had to show them I was serious about not giving into this toxicity; being my mom's only child, I figured she would come around by the holidays and attempt to make amends. She does not. It was the first Christmas I did not see my family, and the first time I didn't receive a single Christmas card from anyone in the family.

January 6th, 2021 My mom, aunt, and uncle storm the Capitol. I call the FBI and turn them in. Because we're not sure if they ever made it inside, nothing is done to them (how convenient). My mom is diagnosed with cancer one month later and I attempt to rekindle what's left of our old relationship the best I can by going to see them before she undergoes surgery. I thought I was being the bigger person and this would be good for me because at least I could say I tried, right? It was a nightmare and I wish I never went to see them. A giant, wooden 'Q' was hanging in their bedroom (made by my uncle). The entire time I was at their house, they refused to wear a mask or social distance from me, and acted like nothing ever happened between us. They refused to talk with me about how the rest of the family treated me; it was like I was sitting there having a conversation with two strangers. The only thing we could talk about without getting angry was the weather and our pets.

After my mom's surgery, they tell me the cancer has been removed and nothing spread; she's fine and won't need any more treatment. I hadn't felt right since I went to see them (my mental health was trash at this point and I barely had the will to survive), and I told her not to contact me again. I told her they left a stain on this family that can never be erased the day they flew to DC and stormed the Capitol. I tell them I'm tired of their gaslighting, lies, and deceit... I tell them how ashamed I am that they could support a cult and white supremacist over their own daughter. I go full no contact - as in, they're dead to me. Not the 'I'm going no-contact but hope you'll see the light and come around' type like I did the previous year.

Present Day I've been in weekly therapy for almost 4 months. My mental health has improved significantly, but after the last few years, I've gained a total of 100 lbs. I'm mortified and ashamed every time I see my reflection or look in a mirror, but try to be kind to myself... The grief of what my Q family put me through is still there, but not as often. Now... Now I'm just filled with rage every goddamn day, and although painful, it's helping me to rebuild the life I once had. I know my aunt, uncle, and cousins will never come back around, but I'm not so sure about my mom; she's 67 and if my stepdad passes away, she won't know how to survive on her own, as she's that pampered and spoiled. I know she'll try and snake her way back into my life... And that scares me, because I'll be damned if I allow her back into my life after what she's done to me. I never, ever thought this would be something I would endure. I never thought my own mother would choose a cult and politician over her only daughter. I can't believe how fast life can change in the blink of an eye.

Anyone who's read this far may wonder why I mentioned the weight loss/gain... I'll be frank: My family treated me a helluva lot better when I was thin and financially well off. My parents do not hurt for money (my mom hasn't worked since she married my stepdad over 30 years ago), and he brings in over $200k/year - yet, when I nearly lost everything, they didn't offer us any help. It was almost like they were secretly happy we were hurting; my mom kept telling us, "Turn to god in difficult times." It was like she thought me going through these hardships would pull me back into the church - and to her. It didn't, and I think that was part of why she treated me the way she did in 2020. Regardless, I know I'll get my footing again (my husband and I are financially doing so much better already), but I will never allow these vicious people back into mine and my sweet husband's lives. I don't know if anyone else feels this way, and I don't blame you if you don't - I just know this group and reading your stories has helped me so much, so I thought I'd share mine. That's all... I don't have any words of encouragement, unfortunately. A good therapist and prioritizing my health has been really good for me, but damn, some days are really hard. It would've been easier if they had died. The Q pain just hits different. Knowing they chose a cult over their child is bizarre.

tl/dr: The only family I have said racism disappeared when Reagan was elected (brought back by Obama), and became outraged when I stuck up for George Floyd and BLM in 2020. They joined the Q cult and disowned me and my husband (including my mom - I'm her only child). I turned them into the FBI when they stormed the Capitol on January 6th, but nothing was done to them. Now that I'm grieving less, I'm filled with rage and will never take any of them back. How could family members treat one of their own this way?! This is the worst pain I've ever felt - it would've been easier if they died. I'm embarrassed to admit I've gained 100 lbs while fighting major depression... I'm now in therapy and prioritizing my health, but letting that rage fuel me to rebuild a new, different life without them. I will never forgive them for putting me and my husband through this... But damn, some days are hard; the Q pain just hits different. Needed to vent.