As August approaches, I am about to turn 30 and this past year has been an insanely stressful year for me. It really started on August 7th, 2020. My best friend of 15 years and fellow patriot that I red pilled back in 2016, passed away suddenly from a heart attack at 32 years old. I was completely devasted by this loss and my girlfriend of 2 years, who was newly pregnant at the time, wasn't very loving or supportive, it just came across as fake, probably because she didn't like my best friend but it really made me start to question her morals. Fast forward to the beginning of December, one night she's acting weird at home on our couch and when I question her on what's going on, she tells me she's going to get an abortion because at the time we were both living paycheck to paycheck. California is ridiculously expensive in the major city I live in. I was job hunting every week while working full time. When she told me she was going to abort my child my first child I lost it on her and cussed her out and called her a bunch of shit and got very emotional and she gathered some things and left to her mothers house over an hour away. From there she went through with the murder of my child at a planned parenthood. I couldn't believe it, but my.love was so strong that I decided that maybe going to couples therapy would help us move past all this crazy shit and it ends up coming out in therapy that she blames me for the abortion and says I promised her she wouldn't have to work and that she could be a stay at home mom and I never followed through so she felt there was no other option. 2 months later I land a great job and get hired and now have the money to raise a child without any government assistance... After 7 months of trying to fix things with her she finally blocked me on everything and won't speak to me anymore. My friends tell me as fucked up as it was what she did it was a blessing in disguise because she's obviously mentally unstable and needs to be on medication. But it still fuckin hurt, I'm broken right now emotionally. Now I'm alone and just working on myself, getting back into the gym now that they are open again. I would appreciate any fellow patriot’s advice (men or women) I think having an outside opinion from someone who doesn't know me would be extremely helpful. I'm really fucked up over all this, I've been drinking a lot. I just don't know how to begin to let go because everything happened so quickly and the woman I thought I was going to marry just destroyed my life.