Just reading this morning.
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Unfortunately they are - and so are adults. Children though...."give me a child until he is 7, and I will give you the man'. Jesuit saying. The brain doesn't even begin to reason until around 7, it's all emotion before that, so whatever you input into their brains before then is there for life unless they make enormous effort to change the programming when they are adults.
Was it Ernest Hemingway who believed children should be allowed to develop as they will without adult 'interference'? Set up an island retreat and left them to their own devices. They turned into little monsters and the project had to be abandoned.
You ever read Lord Of The Flies? You betcha that would happen in real life if kids are left to follow their own development. Children are NOT little adults, they need to be taught and yes, trained, to be civilized and considerate of others.
We are NOT naturally civilized and empathic to others. We need to be civilized otherwise we stay at an animalistic level just doing what feels good in the moment.
Hell most infants would be quite happy to sit in their own shit if they weren't trained to use the potty.
Think of 'The Terrible Twos', at that age children learn how to get what they want by crying and throwing tantrums and the world literally revolves around them and their needs. They don't give a fuck about anyone else. It is the epitome of me me me. They also test the parental limits. Good parents are PARENTS not best friends, and train and guide them for adulthood.
Tell a child that age not to put their hand near the fire and they'll look at you slyly and slowly inch their hand to it. Or do it when you are not around if you don't put a guard around it (most people don't have open fires these days so not an issue like it used to be). You can't reason with a child that age ffs. Even chimpanzees know that, and give misbehaving kids a whack. Smacking them to make them comply - for their own safety - is not the same as 'beating' them in case you were confused about that.
But yes, the 'training' and programming they get up to the age of 7 stays with them all their lives, for good or bad. We are going to have a lot of neurotic adults thanks to these masks and lockdowns in their early childhood. They will be frightened of everything and that is not a good trait for any civilization.
My grandma said at a family gathering-my father was about 30 years old-she said "You never quit raising them" --You are right -good parents are parents -tough love-what they believe is right--most kids subliminally understand that this is loving guidance--and often as in our case-our son is 30 and our relationship changes to more friend and confidant than father-son--strangely I love him and vice versa more than ever
Yes. Adulthood is the time when parents become friends with their child, but as you say they will always be the parents 'child', and the hardest thing is to be confident you have done the best you can and leave them to make their own mistakes. Not always easy when you can see they are going wrong and give advice they won't listen too. :)
I see so many parents trying to be 'best friends' to young children and that is not the stage to do it. They have friends their own age, they need the parent to BE a parent and that requires discipline, boundaries, and guidance.
Still, even with the best intent people screw up, but if you've done a halfway good job they recognize you did the best you could and see you as a fellow human and friend when they reach adulthood, rather than an infallible being who can fix all their mistakes. And then one day the parent may become the 'child' when they get old and frail, and the child takes the responsibility to protect and care for the vulnerable parent.
My heart breaks for those who do not have good upbringings. I'll never understand parents who subject their children to a living hell. I guess it's a testament to their character if they can survive that without becoming too screwed up.