What stage of grief is it when you wake up from peaceful dreams only to experience dread and sorrow in your return to awareness that your beloved has died?
That's where I'm at this morning. RIP America.
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I'm gonna go ahead and say that more has died than my illusions.
In the past my speech was not censored. In the past my friends were not getting put on administrative leave or fired for not participating in a medical experiment. In the past my son was allowed to attend public school and I liked his teachers and the curriculum they were teaching. In the past I was never denied medical or dental care for not wearing a mask or being vaxxed. In the past I was not afraid to visit a hospital and received excellent, unbiased care with family members present and advocating for me. In the past I did not need to stock up on food and medicine because there was imminent risk of not having access to those necessities. In the past I did not even question whether I would ever see loved ones living in different countries again.
Yes, I had some illusions about the world. Yes, they have been shattered. But my day to day experience right now, in this moment, is way different than it was 3 years ago. The grief I experienced when I woke up this morning has to do with the present reality of my actual experience living as a citizen in America which is absolute shit and getting worse by the day not my sudden awareness that it has always been shit because it hasn't.
The pain of Awakening. I can't even keep track of all the things I know now about all the evil in this world. It is a burden. But I believe our future is going to be remarkably better. Because there is no other option than to save not only the children, but humanity. If in knowing the truth we don't 100% address it, we are doomed as being complicit. This beautiful blue planet cannot host massive evil any longer. It was not created for that.
It’s good you’re feeling like this, you won’t comply or be as deluded in the future. If you’re under 100 years old, you've NEVER actually been “free”.
People are actively trying to change that by all the things you’re seeing exposed.