My son married a lovely, smart girl who was raised in a liberal midwestern family that by all appearances are typical upper middle class. Father is CEO of a foundation, the mother an RN that works with a local family practice. Wonderful people. Charming, bright, educated, hard working and love the good life. Oh, and are liberals, important point.
The mother is convinced that Covid is truely a deadly disease because she has seen so many people die from it. Her husband, a big strapping guy spent over a month in the hospital from it. So, to her everything in life is Covid. It's the central focus of every discussion. Because she's a nurse, she feels she's the one with the most knowledge about this deadly disease and at liberty to set some standards when it comes to any get togethers.
This weekend my son and wife were planning a birthday party for their only child. The wife miscarried 2 months ago after being fully vaxed. But no problem because her mother said the two aren't related because she's the nurse and knows. My wife and I were planning on attending the party until my son called this morning and said, "Dad, don't shoot the messenger". You can guess what was coming. His mother-in-law was requesting all that attend the party be Covid tested first. I thought for a moment and said that we wouldn't be coming then. He said, but Dad you can get one of those quickie tests at CVS no problem. I said why would I, I'm not sick?
Then I said, listen son. My life doesn't revolve around Covid. I asked, when were you last tested for smallpox? polio? You do realize that people who think everyone needs to test when they are not sick are suffering from a mental illness? The science shows that the people who carry the highest Covid viral load are those fully vaccinated, not those unvaccinated. My wife and I are not vaccinated nor will we be. We will not be pushed into getting a test that isn't accurate when we don't feel sick either. It's a matter of principle. We had no problem being there because we don't care if they're vaccinated or not. It's a personal matter and that's it.
I said we will see our grand daughter some other time when they're not around to get our imaginary cootie bugs. Sorry, but I will not be bullied, pressured or anything else to satisfy someone else's insecurity and need for control. We don't roll like that. We love you, your wife and our grand daughter so we'll see you some other time.
"But Dad, Betty (not her real name) is concerned because she has seen so many friends die." Son, that's because her friends were never given a script for HCQ or Ivermectin early when they first got sick. Their doctors never told them to take Vit D, C, and zinc. Then, when they got to the local hospital they were given Remdesivir like her husband. Probably, one of the worst things they could have been given. It destroys kidneys. Betty thinks she knows what's best but I assure you, she knows nothing of the science. She follows protocols which are wrong. Exasperated, he says I hope this doesn't destroy my daughter's relationship with you and mom. It won't but we draw the line now because I don't set conditions for them nor should they for us.
Covid destroys minds more than any other part of the body. I won't be bullied regardless, nor will I or my wife give in to pressure. Starting down that road then leads to show your vax card to enter. No thanks. We're just a couple of loving grandparents who have their standards, their morals and their common sense. I won't give them up even if it means I'll miss seeing my lovely grand daughter. Sorry, I don't drink Kool Aid. Never liked the stuff nor will I in the future.
Gotta hand it to you sir. Well done! It can’t feel great to be put in that position but I respect (and admire) your ability to stand strong. As a younger but like minded father myself… (I’m probably closer to your sons age than yours), I feel the exact same way you do.
I’ve already fast forwarded 10 years in the future with my kids & their friends and gone through the mental exercises of “fitting in” vs “doing what I believe to be right & fair for all” and seen the consequences of those actions. Hate to put some of the pressures on my children that we as based parents inevitably put on them but I see no other way forward. To fold at this point in time doesn’t feel right @ all, it’s purely a move of weakness if we fold. I can already see how my oldest sons friend’s parents’ are going to ruin relationships between our children over myself & my wife’s health decision not to vaccinate. We’ve carried an unborn child almost 9 months now through all of this stuff and had many close calls of the wife feeling tons of pressure to vax. I’ve gotta give it to my lady though.. she stood in the gap. She took the hard path and she hung in there like a fighter even though it felt tough/awkward.
I can relate to how you’re feeling and even if our families face some struggle from our decisions to stand strong, I believe this is the way. Anyway, point is, these decisions we are making break up relationships/cause turmoil with the weak minded family members and may even turn our children against us (for a time) but I still believe this is our only option even if it feels shitty in the moment. If we do not stand strong, no one will. Medical tyranny and hypochondria must be put away. This is not a way to live. Fear runs the mind in 2021… unless you actively fight & look towards God. Just wanted to share a little of my own and it feels great to see we are all in this together, fighting the same battle… NOT ALONE