They had no idea how much it would cost them. When they began to follow Jesus they actually thought they would physically detain the Romans and Jesus would be crowned king physically in their day. They did not understand when they began that some would be stoned or hung upside down on a cross.

But at a certain point they had come too far. There was no going back.

The funny thing about the anon journey is that its taken so many unexpected turns. I don't think any of us foresaw the precipice of 2021 but that when we look back that has been part of the humbling experience. The journey God takes us on does something within us. If you told a young me what God would put me through when I began to follow would have I still done it? God sometimes has to ease us into our cross. He gives us bread crumbs and we follow inch by inch until we learn to not just carry our cross but embrace it. Surrendered our will to God because He's won us over. And then you truly understand that there's no going back because the old you is dead and buried and there is no where to go back. And that was part of the plan all along. God transforming His people.