Imagine l owned a muItibiIIion dollar water company, Water-Two. It's got twice the electrolytes. Then, starting next yr, only my water will be used. You can't use your tap. You can't go to the river. Your favourite water? Not that either. It's not good for you, you're told. Only my water is good, you're told. But you've never needed Water-Two until today so you start questioning. But that's not allowed - that's water hesitancy. l told you - only my water is good. l don't care what expert told you otherwise because they're wrong. My team of scientists who developed Water-Two are the only scientists that matter. Also, it's $25 a bottle. Trust the water. Trust Water-Two.

To showcase how fair I am, here's a deal. You can keep YOUR water or you can keep your job. You say fine, you'll buy the water. But then you start getting the sh*ts. You start to doubt the water but, you see, the water only works if everybody's buying it. Besides. You need Water-Three now.

That, of course, makes no sense to you. You start complaining, sending science articles my way. But, you see, now you're just another anti-water moron. Water is integral to life - don't you read science? These anti-science ppI don't even trust water. You try to argue back but you're banned, of course.

And that's the story of how Water-Three became the world's number one scientist recommended water supply. Trust the water. Trust Water-Three. It's got thrice the electrolytes.