For me it comes and goes... an overwhelming sense of hopelessness seems to creep up on me, and I have to fight through it.
Yes, Jesus is my source of hope. But I am human. I have a need to stay informed, and yet it wrecks me often, due to the evil I discover.
Even knowing that Jesus has won, that we have won, that we are winnning... these are such "far away" concepts in the face of the ugliness that we see unveiled every day.
So much energy goes into keeping a grasp on all that is happening, so as to be able to red-pill others and to protect my family. That's how I am wired. Can't help it.
So I find my balance this way: I try to limit my time here (rather than just an all day constant presence), and I pray for wisdom and strength. I also choose to live as an example of goodness (and I am not perfect!). These things keep me sane.
I wrote this because I assume many struggle with this balance... and I just wanted to encourage everyone to hang in there, and take a moment to acknowledge the challenge and to strategize about how best to maintain the balance for yourself.
If we are not mentally, emotionally, and spiritually strong when the shit really blows up, then we will not be the shepherds I believe God is calling us to be.
I get by on spite
I am curious to know more, because that feeling wells up in me often
My parents were pretty abusive and controlling when I was a kid. To me, this whole situation just feels like an extension of my childhood except I'm not a helpless little kid anymore and the burning fury I feel from some thinking they can get me to bend the knee sustains me. I get by on spite because I refuse to give them what they want and feel demoralized.
The only time I feel sad is when I see how the mindless husks get swept up in the programming but that pity quickly gets replaced by revulsion at how they squander the gift of independent thought.
Thanks for explaining. I am sorry that that was your experience as a child, and I am glad for you that you have channeled the energy into an asset/resource.