For me it comes and goes... an overwhelming sense of hopelessness seems to creep up on me, and I have to fight through it.
Yes, Jesus is my source of hope. But I am human. I have a need to stay informed, and yet it wrecks me often, due to the evil I discover.
Even knowing that Jesus has won, that we have won, that we are winnning... these are such "far away" concepts in the face of the ugliness that we see unveiled every day.
So much energy goes into keeping a grasp on all that is happening, so as to be able to red-pill others and to protect my family. That's how I am wired. Can't help it.
So I find my balance this way: I try to limit my time here (rather than just an all day constant presence), and I pray for wisdom and strength. I also choose to live as an example of goodness (and I am not perfect!). These things keep me sane.
I wrote this because I assume many struggle with this balance... and I just wanted to encourage everyone to hang in there, and take a moment to acknowledge the challenge and to strategize about how best to maintain the balance for yourself.
If we are not mentally, emotionally, and spiritually strong when the shit really blows up, then we will not be the shepherds I believe God is calling us to be.
Those things I cannot control, I leave to God. Everything else, I enjoy the beauty of my day, knowing that things always work out. I strive for inner peace.
I wish I had better control over the ability to let go of control. Does that make sense?
Yes. May I suggest just a subtle change in habits. Wake up in time to greet the dawn. Just sit in stillness and watch as the sky changes color before you. Buy a bird feeder and watch the birds come. Start on a quest to find little things in the day where there is no arguments, no propaganda, no controlling, and before long your day will go from 1 minute of pure peace to the becoming the dominate mood. Don't force it. Just appreciate what is before you now. Like everything else, this too is a process. Be patient with yourself.
This is a tough suggestion... I've always been a night owl. But... I will try this. Soon.
I used to be a night-owl as well, but life always seemed frantic to me. The minute I decided to calm down, change my habits and notice the dawn, a small element of inner peace entered my being. Its such a ritual with me now, that I'm able to sustain this feeling of peace longer and longer throughout the day.