For me it comes and goes... an overwhelming sense of hopelessness seems to creep up on me, and I have to fight through it.
Yes, Jesus is my source of hope. But I am human. I have a need to stay informed, and yet it wrecks me often, due to the evil I discover.
Even knowing that Jesus has won, that we have won, that we are winnning... these are such "far away" concepts in the face of the ugliness that we see unveiled every day.
So much energy goes into keeping a grasp on all that is happening, so as to be able to red-pill others and to protect my family. That's how I am wired. Can't help it.
So I find my balance this way: I try to limit my time here (rather than just an all day constant presence), and I pray for wisdom and strength. I also choose to live as an example of goodness (and I am not perfect!). These things keep me sane.
I wrote this because I assume many struggle with this balance... and I just wanted to encourage everyone to hang in there, and take a moment to acknowledge the challenge and to strategize about how best to maintain the balance for yourself.
If we are not mentally, emotionally, and spiritually strong when the shit really blows up, then we will not be the shepherds I believe God is calling us to be.
I agree with you 100%. Yes, absolutely God wins and I get so overwhelmed with joy because I believe there is a beautiful, wonderful world filled with love and kindness in our grasp. At the same time, everything about the children and what they have gone through tortures me. The pure evil. I found a quaint little Church where the pastor seems very based so I find comfort in my personal relationship with Christ. I just watched something posted here last night and it was depressing about how corrupted Religion is and it makes me 2nd guess going to church, not my relationship with God, just the Church in general.
I am there with you about church. I am Catholic and it has been a journey, to say the least, to stay with it. I realized that our parish is the church, and the pastor is our shepherd but our choice to pursue our faith is just that, our choice. I like being in a community of people who are struggling and thus supporting each other--that's why I still value church.