I am a single father of two sons who live with me. I love them and try to provide the best for them in life.
We are Christian and all that and attend church when we can; altho they go with their mom on weekends.
Lately i have become incredibly depressed by everything going on. I was mostly unaffected by Covid, I have prepped a large stash of stuff just in case, and for the most part my life isnt too objectively bad.
Dating has been hard and i am beginning to despair of ever finding a partner in this area and with the morass of online dating sites being the suckholes that they are.
Ironically being depressed and trying to date isnt the best combo so im just spiraling down on the regular.
I have prayed to God to send me someone who he intends for me, but thus far no luck.
I feel like theres nothing left for me in life. Nothing i want or need. I am hanging in there for my sons and my parents but you can only live for someone else for so long, and i feel my time is growing short.
Any advice to cheer me up? At 43 i have too far left to walk to do it alone but feel as though ive walked too far already to make finding someone a possibility.
And with all the vaxxing im not keen on meeting someone whos going to randomly sudden death on me, so im there at the viewing saying "im just thankful for the 6 great months we had together."
Ive lived and worked with pain and i just dont want any more, and God knows what ive been through...
I wrote what I wanted, down. I had done a lot of soul searching to think about what I REALLY wanted. Substance. Foundational. I mentioned personality traits, similar beliefs, honour, kindness and loyalty, etc etc with my own take on it. I also mentioned that my mate should want the characteristics that I possess, and BE AVAILABLE! I didn’t mention anything about appearance or minutiae on his part or mine. I left a lot of things open.
I read it three times out loud, imbibing it with hope and what I imagined it would feel like to have such a mate (I actually had no clue what it was like to have anyone love me, so I had to REALLY use my imagination 😂) and sent it out to the Universe. Then I went on with my life.
Silly, I know, but that was my thing. My now-husband had EVERYTHING on that list, but one, and that one thing turned out not to matter, anyway. I am very grateful.
interesting, thanks for the response