I'm born a catholic and raised through catholic school, though I only went to church when I had to as a student and later on in years for weddings and funerals. In fact, I despise the catholic church more and more as time passes (we all know why). But there is something about what is going on that makes me feel that I need to reconcile with God. Not as a catholic, but as a person who truly believes God is why we are what we are. Why we are here, at this point in time. Sadly, I'm starting to believe that religions segregate us and keep us away from the real relationship that we should have with God. I know in my heart of hearts that if I drop to my knees, the answer will be there. At the same time, I'm scared to learn just how far away I've drifted from the truth! We all deserve a relationship with our true creator, and HE deserves the same. I'm ready to establish, re-establish, and even exhaust my effort to do so. I hope many of you are ready to do the same! We deserve it! HE deserves it!
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Thank you for this post as I have been somewhat questioning this myself in a way. I hope you secure that relationship with our Heavenly Father that you seek and that you feel it deep within your soul.
I have been praying, a lot more than I ever have, but I dont think I have ever been good at prayers. I just speak from my heart as if talking to a friend and dontget on my knees to do so. I have yet to break that barrier where I feel I have given the prayers my all. And not because I dont want to, but more because I am unsure on how to really, and also because maybe I am just a little terrified of seeing myself as not being the person whom God intended me to be.
Maybe my sins wont be forgiven, maybe even if after I bear my soul all out to Him, I will still screw up and not be able to stay on the straight and narrow that I need to be. And I dont even mean sinning like drunkenness & drugs (I don't drink and never have done drugs) sleeping around (happily married), and worse, but I mean sins and things that dont make God happy such as being quick to anger, gluttony, wanting materialistic things that arent necessary, maybe not volunteering enough of my time or money to others (is what I currently do even enough?), etc.
sigh I am keeping all those who feel similar to how I do in my prayers.