"Essay on Flatulence (First printed in the 14th Edition of THE MANUAL)

Flatulence, which can cause great psychosocial distress, is unofficially described according to its salient characteristics:

The “slider” (crowded elevator type), which is released slowly and noiselessly, sometimes with devastating effect The open sphincter, or “pooh” type, which is said to be of higher temperature and more aromatic The staccato or drumbeat type, pleasantly passed in privacy The “bark” type (described in a personal communication) is characterized by a sharp exclamatory eruption that effectively interrupts (and often concludes) conversation (aromaticity is not a prominent feature) Rarely, this usually distressing symptom has been turned to advantage, as with a Frenchman referred to as “Le Petomane,” who became affluent as an effluent performer who played tunes with the gas from his rectum on the Moulin Rouge stage."

A classic that slipped by the editors...