Don't take words too seriously, ultimately words are sounds we use to communicate and no matter how much we identify and feel that certain words spoken in a certain way make sense, they are still just words. You will never truly feel a relationship with God, Christ, Earth, Reality, The Universe, whatever you call it, so long as you get caught up in caring about words which are a completely different thing than the reality they are used to represent. In other words when it comes to matters of God quit trying to make sense of everything with words, you'll never be able to, it's a circular and never ending task as to define a word it takes other words and you cannot escape this simple fact. Words only have as much meaning as we give to them, as if you can't understand the words being spoken they may as well just be any other noise. Focus on what is real and don't get distracted by what is not.

Tl;dr Words are meant to guide you in a certain direction, not be the final destination themselves.