I write this today, because I know I'm not alone in this and others might be feeling the same way as me.
We are going through hard times now. I believe when Q said "The end is not for all of us" I think I know what he was referring. I have a 5 months old girl named Cataleya and we call her Cat or Cathy. I want her to do well, but she wouldn't do well without both of her parents, because I know my husband would not do well alone and will never forgive me if I let my intrusive thoughts win.
I have 3 life insurances that would help my husband and baby girl to do well in these hard times, however, I'm also looking for reasons to keep fighting even if I have to be hungry.
Although, I'm a mental health professional, I'm not doing well myself. I have intrusive thought every day and I fighting them as much as possible. If you are reading this, you are not the only one who feels this way, I can make up excuses and say "ooh, I feel like this because PPSD (Post-partum Stress Disorder), but others genuinely are feeling lost, dejected, and hopeless.
I share this today, because I want to keep fighting for our future generations and our country together and check of those who says "I'm fine".
I've been right there with you and now take those thoughts/feelings as a clue that it's time to step away from anything that feeds the negativity, doubt, worry, etc. Take some time w/your family and try to enjoy yourself, and maybe talk w/a colleague about how you're feeling. Could be hugely beneficial to talk about it directly w/someone who can give some solid guidance. Hang in there, girl. You were chosen to be here in these crazy times for a reason. We all were. God loves you, and so do we.