Apologize for just cutting and pasting a long message, but this is too good. From QAnonCasualties:
I am going to FAKE hanging out with my friends to get a covid vaccine but I AM REALLY REALLY SCARED Content: Help Needed
Edit: My plan is ruined, they want to come with me and walk around the mall as well. I am defeated and lost.
I don't have too much time so I'll make it short. I am 18M, and I like to lurk on these subreddits because they resonate with me so much. I have no money to move out and no car of my own, so I am not exactly free to do much even though I have adult autonomy. I have my permit and have 100% driving ability (minus freeway driving) so I know I can pass a license test with flying colors, but my mother refuses to let me use her car for the test because she says I am not ready but I know that is just manipulative bullshit.
My parents are full-blown Q-adjacent, so think anything of them and they are probably that. Antivaccine? Yep. Homophobic? You bet. Racist? You got it. Christian fundies? Absolutely. Flat Earthers? Fucking yes. Pro-life? Ohhh, my gears have DEFINITELY been grinded these past few days.
Obviously I cannot drive somewhere and get the jab secretly. And obviously it is the ultimate sin in this family. They still trust me and I can still be supported by them for college but if they ever find out I am DONE for. That is why I am staging hanging out with some friends at the mall so we can all run out the back and they can drive me to a Target so I can get a jab from their CVS clinic or whatever it is called. The meetup is tomorrow and I have everything planned and even text conversations faked so if my parents ask to see my cellphone again they can see I am not doing any funny business. Yes, I know, I am 18 and should stand up for my privacy, but I would rather get a vaccine and sacrifice my integrity rather than hop on my ego and risk losing my one chance at being safe from a killer infectious disease, you catch my drift?
The problem is, I am literally so scared, like I am actually shitting myself out of fear (need to go use the restroom like now yikes). I have never been this scared in a long time and I don't want to fuck it up because I just KNOW if they catch even a HINT of perceived nefariousness then I will start stuttering and my heart rate will go up and they will know I am lying. I stayed up late last night just fucking terrified and watching war film scenes to get inspired a bit and feel like I am a soldier on a mission and that I should just compartmentalize and disassociate until this whole operation is over. But FUCK in a couple of hours I NEED to ask my parents and make it known (since even though I will drive there my mother still has to accompany me since I have no license and it's her car).
I am also really scared that this will backfire and she will want to actually follow me in or end up doing errands and coincidentally going to the same Target I need to covertly get to.
I am also worried about how appointments work for the CVS clinic. Does anyone know if they just have walk-ins? I will be making an appointment for a Pfizer covid jab and a flu jab (are they safe together? CDC says so but I want it because I never got a flu jab my whole LIFE) regardless but having that extra pressure of needing to be there at a specific time SUCKS and is making me want to shit and piss myself literally, like FUCK I am scared as fuck.
I have a stone cold face in real life and am just swallowing this and covering it with anger to keep my head clear but fucking shitbird ballsack I straight up just want to quit and back out of this whole thing. Not going to but (fuck I am pausing for a bit because I feel like puking) never did anything this courageous my whole life and I don't know how to proceed without fucking it up.
Any advice? Please and thank you. This mostly a rant and venting session but please I am scared.
Edit: I am gagging and now I really need to calm down holy SHIT.
"fucking shitbird ballsack" he says
"This is how the kids on the internet talk these days, correct?"
"Hey there, fellow kids!" Buscemi gif here lol