"Here at the Maricopa County ballot storage center and poultry farm we strive to count each and every ballo-- Whoops, all the ballots just got vaporized in a freak electrical snowstorm. Yep, there was 10 pallets right there just a few minutes ago, and it was 100% for Kari Lake's opponent. Unfortunately, you'll just have to take my word for it. Oh, and this USB flash drive containing tabulator data that was just handed to me by the men in that satellite truck right over there. Also, my lawyers that I've never met before today have issued you an injunction and I've been instructed to tell the Media that you're a terrorizer and you've been terrorizing myself and my chickens. GOOD DAY, SIR."