I have. Be what? Me? I've lost "me". He's dead. I don't know who I am, in the sense that I'm not sure what. My thoughts are disjointed and fragmented. I feel like Joe.
Sounds like you are having a rough time friend! I ahve never been through.what it sounds like you are going through- I can feel the pain in your words though. If I could, I would offer you some advice.
First, forget about sexuality for a while. Put it aside. Focus on improving yourself. Set some goals related to actual tasks or achievements you want to accomplish ( like hike so many trails, learn a language or an instrument, build a piece of furniture, something that interests you) . Get outside and get an hour or so of brisk physical activity most days . Eat as much natural and unprocessed food as you can afford.
Next, find a church you can connect with. Some churches I have been to are stuffy and judgemental, full of gossipy people. Dont settle for that. One of the churches I enjoyed going to as a teenager was on the bad side of town. It was a very motley mix of bikers, ex junkies, ex prostitutes, and some regular folks as well. Very rough around the edges- but zero judgement, and people who truly believed and celebrated in the healing power of Jesus. Anyway, find a church you can connect with, and get plugged in with a group there.
So here is what I would suggest from here. Just do the above for six months. Immerse yourself in physical activities and academic and platonic social activities. I would be willing to bet that at the end of that time, you will have a tremendous amount of clarity and perspective on your situation.
Above all, remember, no matter what your sins or struggles, you are loved by God, and you are not alone.
Keep your eyes on Heaven, brother! Jesus Christ has WON the war for us. In Christ we are citizens of a new kingdom where there will be no cruelty, and that will last forever and ever. Rest peacefully in that.
In the mean time, God allows this weight on your shoulders because the testing of your faith refines it to perfection (James 1:2-3). And you have a cloud of witnesses in Heaven cheering you on... Hebrews 12
"let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
I have. Be what? Me? I've lost "me". He's dead. I don't know who I am, in the sense that I'm not sure what. My thoughts are disjointed and fragmented. I feel like Joe.
Sounds like you are having a rough time friend! I ahve never been through.what it sounds like you are going through- I can feel the pain in your words though. If I could, I would offer you some advice.
First, forget about sexuality for a while. Put it aside. Focus on improving yourself. Set some goals related to actual tasks or achievements you want to accomplish ( like hike so many trails, learn a language or an instrument, build a piece of furniture, something that interests you) . Get outside and get an hour or so of brisk physical activity most days . Eat as much natural and unprocessed food as you can afford.
Next, find a church you can connect with. Some churches I have been to are stuffy and judgemental, full of gossipy people. Dont settle for that. One of the churches I enjoyed going to as a teenager was on the bad side of town. It was a very motley mix of bikers, ex junkies, ex prostitutes, and some regular folks as well. Very rough around the edges- but zero judgement, and people who truly believed and celebrated in the healing power of Jesus. Anyway, find a church you can connect with, and get plugged in with a group there.
So here is what I would suggest from here. Just do the above for six months. Immerse yourself in physical activities and academic and platonic social activities. I would be willing to bet that at the end of that time, you will have a tremendous amount of clarity and perspective on your situation.
Above all, remember, no matter what your sins or struggles, you are loved by God, and you are not alone.
I have. It just won't leave my head. I can't get out of the house. Thanks. I'll take that to heart.
Keep your eyes on Heaven, brother! Jesus Christ has WON the war for us. In Christ we are citizens of a new kingdom where there will be no cruelty, and that will last forever and ever. Rest peacefully in that.
In the mean time, God allows this weight on your shoulders because the testing of your faith refines it to perfection (James 1:2-3). And you have a cloud of witnesses in Heaven cheering you on... Hebrews 12
"let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
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