Hello. Those who are strong in the Lord can you ask God what the hell I should do with my life because I feel lost and deeply depressed. I'm literally drinking vodka now and I kinda want to kill myself because life seems hopeless. Sorry for being too dark and morbid, it's just how I feel. Drugs are my only escape. Not proud of it, just all I got. Thank you.
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Please do yourself the greatest favor you can today. Look up your nearest AA meeting and get to one today. Muster up your courage and tell people how you are feeling. You will meet people who have been in your shoes and can give you help.