Hello. Those who are strong in the Lord can you ask God what the hell I should do with my life because I feel lost and deeply depressed. I'm literally drinking vodka now and I kinda want to kill myself because life seems hopeless. Sorry for being too dark and morbid, it's just how I feel. Drugs are my only escape. Not proud of it, just all I got. Thank you.
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I'll pray for you. Don't give up. I was down there for a while, and what changed things was pursuing the Lord, as well as getting active with people and giving my time and energy to serve others. It's extremely painful at first, but it pulls you out of the funk and helps you feel better. Talk to someone you trust, perhaps an elder in the church, and try to establish a weekly or bi-weekly meeting to check in and keep yourself accountable. Go to someone who will help you, and walk you through this. We are never alone, but sometimes you have to go out of your comfort zone to find people to be with. You are loved, despite your flaws. I had better see you post again in the future! We need you in this war!