When I look around me NPCs are doing better than me. Even though I believe I was never fully NPC in the past.
You would think being aware about what’s going on in the world, you would have a sense of freedom.
I also got hit really hard by the covid fiasco mentally. Just by seeing all those NPC around me championing all the restrictions, made me feel very lonely for a while. Because my mind was and is not the same as theirs. If I would speak out what’s in my mind I probably wouldn’t have any friends surrounding me anymore.
I’m not being myself, I’m being fake, so that the NPCs would accept me. The fake me is the person that they like about me and want hang around with.
I totally lost all joy in life, my addictions became heavier over the last two years, the last months I’m doing better to quit them.
But being sober all the time brings back all those bad feelings. I’m not even able to focus on loving someone. My friends think I’m low energy. But the addictions kept me that way.
And the question “What am I even doing here on this planet” start roaming in my head again.
When I have good times, I get upset that some others don’t. Do I even have the right to pray to God for more and more, while others are begging for food and are sleeping on the streets.
Does God even care about me? If he does, than does he cares about the others as well?
Life just seems not fair for the majority people on earth.
Those feelings hold me back to advance my own life. While dreaming about all those cool stuff you can do on this earth.
Just being aware of so many things made me very destructive towards myself.
Is there someone who can relate? Were you able to get your lust for life back?
Here's the rub. Life is tough, life is full.of obstacles, and treacherous evil people. But life is also full of love and good will. God has won the battle, in the end, all we can do is speak the truth. The truth is, if you are surrounded by "friends" that will abandon you when you speak truth, then you ought to reconsider who you surround yourself with. There's certainly people that are awake, there's people that are in the same boat as you are, and some others that are completely asleep. If you speak the truth, you will attract people that are interested in truth. If you speak lies, then you will attract people that speak lies. Speak truthfully, of course, within the context of the conversation. Don't hide your thoughts, challenge yourself to be honest with others and yourself.
Even though they are NPCs I feel they are attracted towards me and even care about my well being. Probably because I do speak my mind sometimes but very cryptic like. Often they wants me to explain more. But I hold myself back a lot, so I don’t fry their minds with to much information
True, well, one thing you could do is separate truth from speculation and explain it that way. There's a lot of info here that survives through speculation. Some of it gets verified, some doesn't, some never get a second look. So it's worth pointing out the difference between thought provoking truths, and thought provoking speculation. Stick to the first, and if requested, talk about the latter without ascertaining as absolute truth.