I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. I had an initial meeting and I liked everyone but I never followed up (purely out of fear of the above). I have trusted all of you for your input over the past few years and I would value your input on this. I have only recently realized that I’m a Christian so things feel a bit unclear.
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I have studied Freemasonry from the outside. Allow me to suggest that you find a book on Freemasonry that describes the rituals that you must partake in. They are quite easy to come by if you look for them. The rituals themselves are not secret. You will notice that you are required to make certain oaths -- some with rather gruesome penalties should you break them. Ask yourself if these are the types of oaths God would want you to make, especially in light of the fact that Jesus commands us not to make oaths:
https://www.orbcfamily.org/blog/devotionals/what-does-the-bible-say-about-taking-oaths/