Today, two of us went out to walk by the beach in Massachusetts State Park. (Google Maps Satellite) The river (actually a giant lake) is ~750 ft wide and very deep. There's a Boat Club with several ramps. It is a beautiful serene place.
We noticed we were the only two people in the park. As we approached the beach, we nearly collided with a man (Hispanic / Middle-Eastern, 20-30 years old) swiftly walking behind us. It appeared that he was late for a meeting. The man was wearing a thick black winter coat (backwards), big boots and heavy backpack.
The man ran onto a narrow boat ramp. I thought: "What is he doing? Waiting for a boat?" The man was ~140ft away from us. He was pacing back and forth on the ramp. Suddenly, he stopped, turned and fell backwards into the river. He wailed one last time. Then his head submerged into the deep water below.
Guy from the Boat Club ran onto the ramp. He looked down into the river and yelled: "Motherf--ker!" He quickly ran back into the Club shouting to his fellow employee: "Call 911!"
Within ~10 minutes, an armada of police and EMT arrived on the scene. We counted 50+ officers and emergency personnel, two divers, three ambulances and two fire trucks. It took them almost an hour to locate the guy's lifeless body in the deep waters and bring it onshore.
I felt completely numb. I have watched many gruesome videos on LiveLeak (people getting electrocuted, shot, fall from roof, run over by cars, airplanes crashing and burning, etc). In those instances, innocent people died by accident.
But I hate people who kill themselves. This guy was in his prime. Yet he was a coward. He could not deal with his problems, so he decided to "unplug" himself. Now his parents, siblings, girlfriend will be suffering. What a waste.
Let me remind you: You are not alone. Everyone has dark thoughts. This is Satan whispering into your ear. Pray to God. Don't give up. Never give up. If you have bad feelings, reach out and let someone help you. Don't be a coward. Do not commit suicide. May God bless you.
I have a hard time replying because your post is kind of a mix of empathy and hatred. But let me begin with- I’m sorry you went through that. To see someone take their own life has got to be one of the worst things anyone could experience. I hope you’re ok. It’s good you’re trying to talk about it.
One thing about suicide- everyone has their own story and unless you know that person, I wouldn’t presume to know why or know who he has impacted directly. He may have no family that he had a relationship with. He may have gotten dumped by his girlfriend, got divorced, lost his job, lost his home, hurt someone terribly, been a drug addict, had legal problems, been on SSRIs, had PTSD, was having a psychotic episode, been an alcoholic, found out he had terminal cancer, just lost a child, had been an abuse survivor.. . I guess the list of possibilities could go on for hours.
But it isn’t up to us to judge. It’s up to us to have compassion, forgiveness in our hearts, love for one another and to pray for his soul and those who knew him and try to reach out to others who we think may be in a desperate state or seem depressed because a lot of times they just need someone to care and listen. They need direction where to get concrete help. So we need to work on that. I know it’s too late for him and you didn’t know him but we need to be more compassionate human beings and try to help prevent this shit.
But again, I’m sorry you went through that- it would be something unforgettable and life changing. Prayers for you, fren.