Today, two of us went out to walk by the beach in Massachusetts State Park. (Google Maps Satellite) The river (actually a giant lake) is ~750 ft wide and very deep. There's a Boat Club with several ramps. It is a beautiful serene place.
We noticed we were the only two people in the park. As we approached the beach, we nearly collided with a man (Hispanic / Middle-Eastern, 20-30 years old) swiftly walking behind us. It appeared that he was late for a meeting. The man was wearing a thick black winter coat (backwards), big boots and heavy backpack.
The man ran onto a narrow boat ramp. I thought: "What is he doing? Waiting for a boat?" The man was ~140ft away from us. He was pacing back and forth on the ramp. Suddenly, he stopped, turned and fell backwards into the river. He wailed one last time. Then his head submerged into the deep water below.
Guy from the Boat Club ran onto the ramp. He looked down into the river and yelled: "Motherf--ker!" He quickly ran back into the Club shouting to his fellow employee: "Call 911!"
Within ~10 minutes, an armada of police and EMT arrived on the scene. We counted 50+ officers and emergency personnel, two divers, three ambulances and two fire trucks. It took them almost an hour to locate the guy's lifeless body in the deep waters and bring it onshore.
I felt completely numb. I have watched many gruesome videos on LiveLeak (people getting electrocuted, shot, fall from roof, run over by cars, airplanes crashing and burning, etc). In those instances, innocent people died by accident.
But I hate people who kill themselves. This guy was in his prime. Yet he was a coward. He could not deal with his problems, so he decided to "unplug" himself. Now his parents, siblings, girlfriend will be suffering. What a waste.
Let me remind you: You are not alone. Everyone has dark thoughts. This is Satan whispering into your ear. Pray to God. Don't give up. Never give up. If you have bad feelings, reach out and let someone help you. Don't be a coward. Do not commit suicide. May God bless you.
There have been a few suicides among people in my life and I struggled with the back and forth of feeling guilty because I didn't know how to help them (or that they needed help) and feeling angry that they would do this to everybody around them. But my Mom said something to me in my college days when I was ranting about the situation where one of our roommates in the co-op we lived in hung himself in the laundry room we all shared--she said, "Imagine how terribly he must have been feeling that THIS seemed like the best solution for him." That statement she made has stayed with me through the other suicides I've witnessed in my world. People are not always in their right minds when they act in all sorts of situations. It's easy to judge them when we're on the outside looking in. I suspect it would be a lot easier to be compassionate toward them if we could feel what it is like to be on their inside looking out.