Today, two of us went out to walk by the beach in Massachusetts State Park. (Google Maps Satellite) The river (actually a giant lake) is ~750 ft wide and very deep. There's a Boat Club with several ramps. It is a beautiful serene place.
We noticed we were the only two people in the park. As we approached the beach, we nearly collided with a man (Hispanic / Middle-Eastern, 20-30 years old) swiftly walking behind us. It appeared that he was late for a meeting. The man was wearing a thick black winter coat (backwards), big boots and heavy backpack.
The man ran onto a narrow boat ramp. I thought: "What is he doing? Waiting for a boat?" The man was ~140ft away from us. He was pacing back and forth on the ramp. Suddenly, he stopped, turned and fell backwards into the river. He wailed one last time. Then his head submerged into the deep water below.
Guy from the Boat Club ran onto the ramp. He looked down into the river and yelled: "Motherf--ker!" He quickly ran back into the Club shouting to his fellow employee: "Call 911!"
Within ~10 minutes, an armada of police and EMT arrived on the scene. We counted 50+ officers and emergency personnel, two divers, three ambulances and two fire trucks. It took them almost an hour to locate the guy's lifeless body in the deep waters and bring it onshore.
I felt completely numb. I have watched many gruesome videos on LiveLeak (people getting electrocuted, shot, fall from roof, run over by cars, airplanes crashing and burning, etc). In those instances, innocent people died by accident.
But I hate people who kill themselves. This guy was in his prime. Yet he was a coward. He could not deal with his problems, so he decided to "unplug" himself. Now his parents, siblings, girlfriend will be suffering. What a waste.
Let me remind you: You are not alone. Everyone has dark thoughts. This is Satan whispering into your ear. Pray to God. Don't give up. Never give up. If you have bad feelings, reach out and let someone help you. Don't be a coward. Do not commit suicide. May God bless you.
I did find God. More of a informational thing than religious, I study the Quran and I have a Bible (NKJV). Saved my life and proved to me there is indeed much more to this than what I thought before. Its hard to imagine myself 10 years ago before God, it doesn't feel like me but the memories are real. Impostor syndrome is real now.
The next journey is tough but with God at my side I have the guidance I can trust. I don't believe in death, I think death has been corrupted to mean what it means today to deter losing bodies in an industrialized society. How else would a society or governments survive?
The meaning of life varies by locales. In rural areas it tends to be valued and cherished, but in Cali you can get ran over and the other party is gone in a hit and run. Some feel negatively of suicide while others are praising it like it's a grand moment. Some are saving lives, while some are sacrificing them or themselves. I think the selfish ones are the ones still alive and commenting on the loss.
To understand life is to understand death. For there to be light there has to be dark, cold and hot, death life is all consciousness. Sure, there's more to it but it's all the same thing.
I sure won't kms soon. If I do I have a DMS to help protect innocent children in California and other states. I am with God at my side so eternally I have the guidance I need and trust. Its not the same battle everyday, so no guarantees I'll be here tomorrow but God bless all of yall. My life is complete, you are all more of a patriot than quite a few of the soldiers I served with who were only there for money and tiktok videos.