No secret here, just a gross misunderstanding of reality.

You think the universe is deterministic, it's not. We have free-will and choose what to believe. If you want to reject God when presented with every opportunity to accept Him, well, you get what you deserve. What we all deserve. Your main problem is your deep misunderstanding of sin, of the nature of God, and of justice.

You could right now choose to earnestly seek out God or simply choose to believe. You probably won't because you think you are smarter than your creator, but that is as always your choice.