I know this is probably not the place but I know I am amongst many other Christian's or believers in god, and maybe someone can help me get some footing on this.
So lately I've been really trying to connect with god, I've been reading the Bible, praying, talking with god and trying to build a stronger relationship with him. I've always been a Christian but there's been a long long while in my life where I definitely put that on the back burner and just lived my life. Even been intrigued by dark or magical type things. Which never in an evil way but very spiritual, always looking for answers but not in the right places I guess you can say??
Anyways I've been reading the Bible and listening to sermons praying almost any time I catch myself worrying or feeling anxious, really trying to rely on god and allow his will to be instead of me stressing about everything, asking for guidance and grace, and to help me be a better Christian to serve him a better mother a better person etc, and I've felt so much more at peace. It's an adjustment because I haven't done it since I was a young kid, but I try to really catch myself in my old habits and turn to god instead.
ANYWAYS! My son is sick right now I couldn't sleep last night because of it, around 2am I fell asleep, I honestly don't remember much at all of the dream but it was me professing my love To the lord and I believe I was trying to help someone who was under attack or trying to spread the love from god to someone else. I just remember this LOUD LOUD horrific music in my head it was like opera singing but evil sounding and it was the scariest part of the dream because it was like in my head and my ears in real life but I was sleeping. Then for some reason I ran outside the home I was in and three black demons were flying or floating whatever in the sky and one was the actual baphomet. I remember being twrrified and calling to god to protect me and I was rebuking them and screaming I belong to god and to leave me alone. Finally I woke up thank god, and it was THREE AM! Like what?!! That scared me so bad even worse. And I had just the most anxiety ridden feeling that something was in my house I couldn't get comfortable nothing I put on tv calmed my nerves I kept praying to god To keep his protective hands over me and my kids and remove evil from our home and any way they could attach to us. But I swear it felt like something was just behind my back no matter which way I was laying I think I prayed for almost an hour straight. Then finally when 4am came it felt totally fine like it was SO WEIRD! And I was able to fall back asleep Around 4:30 but begged god to protect Me in my sleep and keep me from having such evil nightmares because I have never ever experienced something so chilling. Then when I woke up for good this morning I felt completely drained and my head felt so funny like I'm not sure if anyone's been on anti depressants but like that laggy head feeling when you haven't taken your medicine yet. It was just so weird. I really feel like it's a demonic attack because I wasn't close with god and I wasn't necessarily devoting my life to him or trying to be godly I just figured he'd see I have good intentions on life and always forgive me, but now I want more and I want to be a more devoted Christian and live in his eyes and I want my kids to know him And live in his eyes as well. I just feel like this time we are going through in this world is so evil and uncertain that I want the evil side to see I will never be a soldier for them and I will never be complacent, and I feel like now is the time To get right with god and the fact that maybe my spirit wasn't locked down as much maybe made me not so much of a target but once you try to get close with god this could be a scare tactic to keep you from getting too close? Maybe it was just a crazy nightmare but I have NEVER experienced anything like this.
If you've ready this all then thank you so much and if anyone had any advice or similar stories I'd love to hear them. Not sure it's the right place For it but I know I'm amongst great honest god fearing people as well!
I have had now a few events (attacks?) while awake since I have started praying every day (in about two months). Twice on my right forearm and once around my neck and shoulders. Last one, I was just sitting at the pc doing my usual browsing and my arm started burning/itching (again) sorta ignored it and just rubbed it until done with my pc sitting but, when I actually looked at it, it was tiny razor thin scratch marks in random patterns. 0o, same with what my neck and shoulders did but, with neck shoulders there were two very pronounced side by side streaks about 4 inches long (along with many smaller ones around my neck). Another thing happened twice, while praying and asking to be warded by the blood of Jesus (protection prayer) I suddenly felt cold "drops" enough that I looked up to see if my roof was leaking or something, was like a delicate spray of water hitting portions of my exposed skin. Yes, attacks happen, I almost never have fluff and sparkle dreams, always nightmarish ones that disturb me at times but, use to them and am not afraid of it, sometimes I do this thing where I will realize I am dreaming while still dreaming and be able to make the nonsense quit with a thought. Has one where a bloody crazed eyed head kept chasing my around in it then suddenly, I had one of those realizations, turned and stood my ground and when the head got close I reached down and grabbed it by the hair and kicked it like a ball and off it went. heh. stupid stuff like that. I always pray and invoke Jesus as my lord and savior when I wake up and my heart is still pounding from a dream like that and fall back to sleep quickly and in peace. TBH though, the head one left me amused, the way it went flying and "scampered" away from me once I confronted it like that, seemed cartoonish.