Lately I've fallen in what feels like a rut of life. I feel numb to all that life has to offer me. I've spent a year with a very taxing new baby who I love and adore but has been my hardest baby yet and my third. Now into toddlerhood, still very much more difficult then my other two children before I feel there is a hint of light at the end of the tunnel. Still I'm just numb. Nothing that I used to be passionate about brings me much anything. From gardening to farming, to writing, to starting new projects etc. I used to leap at the chance to do any of these. Now I can't seem to start anything. I'm plagued with fatigue and mental tiredness. I've done it all to try to alleviate the issue, great diet, plenty of vitamin, lots of sun, long walks, light exercise 4x a week. I'm no longer in darkness but not in the light either. I'm an avid Bible reader/studier but even here, I feel I've lost my spark. Like I've lost my first love. I'm just reading out of duty, praying out of duty, going to church out of duty. Which is so different from a year or two ago. Now to the point. Any recommendations for a personal Bible study, (preferably tangible like a book) about finding the love for God again, I'm not mad at God or faltering in my faith, mentally I rock solid believe in his grace and salvation but . But currently emotionally I feel a whole lot of nothing about everything. I'd like like to think it's better than the darkness but honestly I'm not too sure it is...
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Are you trying to do all this alone? Where is your helpmate? Delegate some of what you feel you "must" do and just be quiet and at peace.
We have done much better at approaching the children and house load as a team effort as of late, I think that also adds to my frustration, the load is getting a little lighter everyday but I still feel like a slump. Maybe I just need time more time to recover from a strenuous year.
Give yourself a break. Been through a lot of grief and lost my “joy”. My connection to Jesus and the Holy Spirit was weak. In all our efforts to do more and learn more, we forget to just be. Remember when we have done all we can, just stand. Stand on the promises, stand in His love, let the Grace and Love flow into you. Might not be overnight, but you’ll wake one day with a sense of freedom and love that will fill you with such joy, it will fairly shine from your eyes and heart. Remember He loves us even with our imperfections.