Same here Dolly. Fourty years of constant chaos. I decided I'd had enough a couple of months before he was diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer. I walked out of the hospital and told God that the divorce was off the table. That I would see him through to wellness or death which ever came and that I would do it with glad heart. Death came 4 months later. I've never been so much at peace and very grateful for it. So glad that you have finally gained peace for yourself. Sometimes we have to walk away or risk going down the drain with them.