Tldr: Shes stressed about her job, relationship, money, house, and mental health
Help for Coworker?
My coworker, is going through a lot in a bad relationship.
Her boyfriend is unfaithful, engaging in virtual cheating and gaslighting her. They jointly own a house, but she pays rent, and her finances are strained due to a low-paying, stressful job with an abusive boss.
This situation is taking a toll on her mental health, causing frequent crying and illness. She is actively searching for better job opportunities to improve her circumstances and needs prayers and help for success in her job applications.
She seeks the courage to leave her abusive boyfriend, who threatens to leave her homeless if she does so.
He pays for the car, gave her leeway about rent, and is decent when other women don't come up.
Any advice on what to do for her safety, strength, and the courage to make positive changes in her life?
Before, she didn't want to leave because she said she wanted to build a life with him, but after she saw the messages and things he was paying for, she talked with me a bit to figure out what to do.
She's disappointed about the relationship and doesn't want to leave her dog, i think hes in both their names, but the arguing about the women is taking a toll.
She's almost 30.
I gave her some places to check out, a women's shelter etc. online resources and told her to continue saving money and keep job-hunting.
I can't do much since I'm in school and the apt I'm in is shared with 5 other people.
I was in a similar situation. Married early 20s to a guy who had to keep up with the Jones"s. I had great credit. Would convince me to put things on my credit card and he'd pay me back when he got his bonus from army reserves. (never happened). Felt pressured to get married and start a family. I married but knew I wasn't financially sound to have a kid. We had a house we couldn't afford. No savings. He went out and blew the only 1k we had saved on tattoos. He drove on his motorcycle drunk. He stopped coming home when I said I wasn't ready for a baby. The final straw was when my mom went into the hospital, then into a coma for 30 days. My then husband came to visit her 1x. I decided to divorce and, no lie, my mom woke from her coma.
I decided I would rather be single and fix my finances than to deal with a total jerk. I went back to finish my second degree at 26. I luckily sold the house for a profit and paid off my credit cards. All I had was student loan debt. When we split the house sale, he went to live his parents and he bought a boat. Lol.
I went to live in a nicer apt but still too much for one person could afford.
I met my now husband, going back to school. I wasn't interested in a relationship but it happened when I least expected it. We moved in together in a small 300sq ft studio with no heat or ac. It was miserable but worth it. He helped me get my finances on track. We saved money and now we have been together for over 15 years..
Best decision in my life was just to leave someone so toxic.
You teach people how to treat you.
It's not easy. But you learn from your mistakes and become a stronger person. She knows what she needs to do in her heart. She just needs reassurance everything will work out.
Idk where she's located but there's a pretty decent companies hiring, some even just require HS diploma, but excellent benefits. More job openings are coming open as well.
Hope it works out for her.
You're very strong. God bless.