If you don't have the Holy Spirit in you, then I can see how you go down these paths (or rabbit holes) without any foundation or sense of what is true and what are lies. But if you actually study Christian apologetics, study the history if the Bible, and seek Truth, and God, you will find it. Jesus said, "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you". But if your heart is to disprove Christianity, that will take you on a different path, one that will lead to death, bitterness, disillusionment, etc. You can post all sorts of nonsense, and come up with all the so-called secret knowledge of Gnostics, but my experience with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit--who teaches us, loves us, fills us with peace and joy that are indescribable--these are not things I can "prove", only testify that they are indeed real.

I came to a point several years ago in which I decided to stand on faith on the Word of God as written. If it is wrong, for some reason unbeknownst to me, then I can still stand before God on Judgement Day and be judged by what I believed was God's Word. I have lived an incredibly blessed life, filled with joy from the Lord, so I know what the Bible says is Truth. You can choose to believe other things--that is your right. But understand that there will be a Judgement Day and you need to have believed in and accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior. May you find him and be saved.