I love my girlfriend unconditionally. I must preface with that. There will be no end to that love.
We are both severely traumatized from our past (separate and together). We both have negative trauma responses.
Well, she ended up pregnant. I thought we were on the same page with it, that even if it comes earlier than expected, we will love that kiddo. Thats what she told me beforehand. She said she wanted to have my bebbies.
Well. She ended up pregnant, panicked, told me she got her period but actually went and got an abortion and killed our kiddo.
This wrecked me. She had a slight meltdown afterwards in regret. Wishes she never did it, wishes she told me she was pregnant, wishes she followed through. She admits she knows now that it would have been beautiful and she had no legitimate worries. All her worries were because her ex-husband traumatized her horribly.
Thing is, I knew. And I knew she was going to get an abortion. Don't ask me how. I'm trying to walk in faith and I assume God wanted the truth known. I begged her not to.
Her ex-husband almost killed her several times, threatened to dump her body in an abandoned mineshaft, pointed guns at her head, choked her out, etc.
She somehow got it in her head that I'd be like him, but him and I are opposites. I am a good man, she just let her trauma panic her and destroy something beautiful.
I'm just asking for prayers for her, mainly.
I did forgive her, and I'm not holding it over her head. I love her unconditionally, and theres nothing she can do that would stop that.
Thank you guys. You're family.
I should mention she is not godly. She's closer to being a pagan, doesn't believe in a single living God. So that makes this harder. I'm walking in faith and bearing the fruits of that faith for her to see.
I pray she sees it and recognizes it isn't me, that by my works alone I am not godly either. It is only through our Father that I am able to even try to be a good man. On my own, I'm sure I'd fail.
First of all, you should not be unequally, yoked, or living in sin for that matter.
Secondly, if she’s not a Christian, then, how would you raise your child together? How was your child grow up to know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior?
I’m not saying what she did was right, because it wasn’t… However, trying to have a family and raise a child together when you’re unequally yoked and you have two completely different views on Creation, would be a complete no go for me.
As unfortunate as the situation is, at least you know your child is in heaven right now. As a born-again Christian, if you are a born again, Christian - YOU will see your child again in heaven.
If you can’t see that this is a huge red flag, and that this woman has the potential to kill another child in the future, then I’m sorry, but you’re not in love you are completely infatuated and entering into idol worshiping.
My advice is for you to encourage this love of your life to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, and look for some changes before you even think about marrying her OR move on. As painful as it would be, you may need to find a woman worthy of carrying your child and loving your child, and loving you.
I’m sorry about what happened at her past, but you’re not her Savior, Jesus is. This whole story is so bizarre and sad, but you have choices to make now, and I would choose wisely.
Sorry, if I seem harsh, I don’t mean to be, but sometimes people need to tell you the truth that you need to hear when nobody else well.
Please forgive me if I have been offensive. God bless you and continue to seek his face. He will tell you what to do.
Also, I suggest you find yourself a decent Bible, believing church, something like a non-denominational, Calvary Chapel that reads the Bible, chapter by chapter and verse by verse. Also, get involved in a men’s Bible study, this is where you’ll find the best support system, and good sound advice on how to manage these type of issues. Also read one proverb in one Psalms a day. This will get you in to alignment with God. Praying for you.