Deadline to comment on renewal of EPA emergency exemption use of Wolbachia mosquitoes in Hawai‘i is February 23rd, 2024... Please Comment against. Mahalo.
(www.newsletter.hawaiiunites.org)
Aloha Hawaii Attention 🇺🇸
If this happens, would it be wrong to pray that God sends all those Franken-mosquitos into Oprah's house? It's just that I can't seem to bat away all the soothing images of hungry genetically-modified mosquitos biting the faces of evil celebrities, and some closure would be nice.
Yes, I do know it's only the female mosquitos that do the biting, but hear me out. Considering how these crazy people think, it's likely that the alphabet mafia has put an unscientific demand on the science that will defeat its primary goal. I'd be willing to bet that there will be no mating because all the males they are modifying will have to be gay for the sake of diversity. But that will not be gay enough, so the sibilantly-buzzing gay-squitos* will have to break gender barriers in the insect world to bravely identify themselves as female. (This is despite the fact that they will have to spit when they suck because they lack the lady parts for mosquito reproduction.)
With mosquito diversity thus achieved, it won't be long until these trans-squitos demand that all binary (formerly, "normal" or "regular") mosquitos respect their chosen pronouns, bzzzzeeee and bzzzzerrrr, and force the females to include them under the leaves they formerly used for places to hide from pestering horny males.
After this Mosquito society will begin to break down, not that the trans-squitos will care as long as they can have their nasty fun, and the true females will fly away in disgust, heading for Oprah's house where they know they can dine for years on the luxurious juiciness of her corpulent body. Of course, they will not know that Oprah's blood is full of a substance that will give them Satanic hallucinations, and in the ensuing confusion they will kill themselves, littering the floor of her house with their tiny corpses. Meanwhile the trans-squitos, who think male mosquitos can get pregnant, will die out, too, and the humans will have to import new more robust mosquitos from Russia, where boy-squitos are boy-squitos and girl-squitos are girl-squitos . . . Oh, dear. I might have gotten a bit carried away with this.
*Is it "gay-squitos" or "homosquituals?" I can never get that straight.
Brah. OMG maximum KEK. Thanks for the laugh, Fren. Yup, the gay-squitos and homo-squitos will never get it straight either. Honestly, this is one of the best comments I've read on this site. I'm still kekking over here. Your comment isn't too far off though... wolbachia actually can turn males into females. If you dive down the wolbachia research rabbit hole like our team did, that is what it comes down to. So yeah, it is a gender thing, lmao. You hit it right on the head. Take care, Fren, aloha! I'll have the rest of the team read your comment for major keks. =) Peace, PM17
Well, the fit was upon me, so I cannot take full responsibility for any KEKs that might have resulted. BTW, Bill Gates has a franken-squito project going in my neck of the woods, too. I want to go out there with a vacuum before we get the dreadful disease he says we won't get because of the mosquitos he infected with the dreadful disease. Does UPS deliver boxes of mosquitoes? I really want to send them to his house so they can bite him in the butt. Really. I can imagine them infesting his technology to die in piles on his motherboards . . . Oh, oh. I can feel it coming on. I must go before someone gets hurt.
Peace to you, as well. Thank you for your kind words. Be skeeter-free, and, aloha.