Delving into Q related stuff, inevitably, brings up child abuse. As horrible as that is, I think many like to relegate that to essentially "orphan" kids that get picked up by predators and abused. However I think the majority of abuse happens to children with families, and by family members. (I'm pretty sure the stats back that up)

I want to talk about strategies to prevent this, things you talk to about your kids to make this unlikely, if not impossible to happen. I want to outline my strategy, and I would welcome any input and ideas on how to improve this, or any criticism on what you think I might be doing wrong.

I think anyone can be a potential predator, however I think saying such to your child can be damaging and scary to them. Perhaps having them view strangers as such is okay, but I think parents should be able to vet people.. Viewing every person you meet as a potential pedo is not a good way of going about life. However, your child should be prepared, and know that such individuals exist. And have strategies and methods for what to do when/if those individuals are ever encountered.

My approach starts with going to a dark place. Imagining "what if" I was the predator? Could I get away with it? What would I do to ensure I got away with it? Then coming up with guidelines to make sure that wouldn't be possible. Essentially I come up with a strategy of how to be a successful predator first (as absolutely disgusting as that is) and then create a strategy to defeat that.

That said, this is what I talk to my child about:

• "inappropriate" touching - I've talked to my child about what this is. And talked about how sometimes a doctor is not really included, but if a doctor was ever involved then I or the Mom would be there. Essentially if your parents don't know about then it is 100% "inappropriate" touching. And if one parent was there and knows about it, you should still tell the other parent. It should never be a secret
• Predators exist - I've talked to my child about the existence of predators, and that they can be anyone. That they hide, and pretend to be good people. That Mom and Dad will try everything to ensure that the people you meet and interact with are good people, but that even we can be tricked.
• How Predators will "keep you quiet" - Things they might say, like "If you tell you'll get in trouble" or "If you tell, I will do X" where X is some horrible thing. And make it clear that when they say things like this, they are trying to trick you!
• Importance of telling someone - I've told my child if anything like this happens you need to tell someone. I say "Even if it was me, then you need to tell Mom", "Even if it was Mom, you need to tell me" etc..
• Getting in trouble for false reporting - I've just decided that I will never get upset or punish my child for false reporting. I will do my due diligence, so I am only talking about 100% confirmed false reporting. I will explain how that can be bad, and not to do it, but there will never be a punishment for it. (I really don't think this aspect will be abused, even though it could, but I can revisit if this ever became an actual problem). The point is to get around a predator convincing your child that no one would believe them, and they'll get in trouble.
• Existence of grooming - I've talked to my child that if ever something like this happened, it usually wouldn't be sudden. They will try little things over time, that could be explained away as innocent. They want to see how you will react. And that if anything like this, or close to this ever happens, then you need to tell someone. I explained this with a bullying analogy, rarely someone would just come out and beat you up. They will first say mean things, then later maybe get rough with you, push you, only after they have gotten away with all that would they come out and start actually hitting you. (Crimes of passion aside.. I'm assuming an adult predator would be more sophisticated)

I'd be interested in what anyone else has to say on the subject. Am I dead wrong anywhere? Am I missing something? I'd welcome any feedback. If the advice here or the advice from any of you prevents, hinders, or stops any kind of child abuse; that is a win in my book.