Last week I made a good post about Grandma Anon for those asking for news. She had some good days last week, woke up but then would become "sleepy" and intermittently unresponsive. Then last Friday, she had the best night she's ever had and was awake and alert with the night staff, laughing, smiling. I got to see her around 6 am and talked to her and joked that she's always awake with me because I'm her favorite child. She looked at my phone as I showed her pictures of my boys and she said "they are good boys." The nurse had to change her since she kicked her poo bag, I got back to visit her and she was asleep. The nuero team that morning said she likely had one or two more nights in ICU then would transfer to a another stroke unit then go on to a rehab place. I was on cloud nine. I came back home to be with my family and she hasn't woke up since I left her. She won't respond to anything they ask. The ICU NP just had a hard conversation with my dad about the fact this might be how my mom will be the rest of her life. Sleeping in a bed, having to be fed through a tube and not controlling her bowels. I went from so happy last Friday to so much despair. Her neuro team has no idea what is going on and why she's declining and wont stay awake. Her scans look good, blood flow is moving to all parts of her brain, and she's not having strokes or seizures. I've felt messages from God telling me she's healing and she will get better. But then we hear this from the ICU team. I have no idea what to think or feel, but I do feel so much despair that we might have to make a really hard decision about the quality of her life.

Please pray for her and her family, especially my dad who has to be there all alone until we can make it there. Pray for me, I'm doubting if I'm even feeling messages from God at this point. Maybe I'm making it up to feel better about everything. I feel like such a dumby and I'm losing my faith she will be healed and I can hug her again.