I don't know what to do anymore. I have been unemployed for six months. I have applied for hundreds of jobs and I start a part time minimum wage job soon. So I cashed out my 401k to get a car to get to said job, but that broke down 3 days later.
My family thinks I am lazy so they don't want to give me rides anymore. I tried to walk to get groceries but that's exhausting, I have four young kids we need a lot of stuff.
I built my dream home on the family farm so I have almost no bills. But I don't know what to do. I just feel hopeless. If I move to a job I would have to pay thousands more a month for rent but I am broke. My husband is deeply depressed so he definitely can't help with anything. My family wants me to kick him out and marry a rich guy but that seems like a terribly immortal thing to do.
I've always believed that when God closes a door he opens a window but I can't find a way out of this.
Is there a Christian church nearby? God will draw near to you if you draw near to him.
I used to go to church every week and was very involved. Now it's hard to get there literally and spiritually. I was trying to live the gospel and help others. Now I don't know everything is so bleak.
Here's a prayer for you to pray and I'm praying another for you. I'll add it to comments also. - Almighty God, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, come to my help and deliver me from this difficulty that besets me. I believe Lord, that all trials of life are under Your care and that all things work for the good of those who love You. Take away from me fear, anxiety and distress. Help me to face and endure my difficulty with faith, courage and wisdom.
Grant that this trial may bring me closer to You for You are my rock and refuge, my comfort and hope, my delight and joy. I trust in Your love and compassion. In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.