I don't know what to do anymore. I have been unemployed for six months. I have applied for hundreds of jobs and I start a part time minimum wage job soon. So I cashed out my 401k to get a car to get to said job, but that broke down 3 days later.
My family thinks I am lazy so they don't want to give me rides anymore. I tried to walk to get groceries but that's exhausting, I have four young kids we need a lot of stuff.
I built my dream home on the family farm so I have almost no bills. But I don't know what to do. I just feel hopeless. If I move to a job I would have to pay thousands more a month for rent but I am broke. My husband is deeply depressed so he definitely can't help with anything. My family wants me to kick him out and marry a rich guy but that seems like a terribly immortal thing to do.
I've always believed that when God closes a door he opens a window but I can't find a way out of this.
Assuming you are in a fairly remote location, maybe instead of a part time minimum wage that requires a car, can you do online work instead? A few years ago there were jobs online for writing captions, for making audio for books, etc. With AI i'm sure these jobs won't last but there probably other things out there, could be worth looking into, you can also design merch to sell online with just your phone and free apps, then you can stay home with the kids.
Also you said you're on the family farm, can you make money that way? Breeding rare chickens, starting a rabbit business (breed and sell quality rabbits, sell the meat if you are up to it, selling the poop to gardeners - I always have gardeners asking me if I have extra rabbit poop to sell them. There are so many ways to make money off of rabbits. You could also plant some easy fast growing flowers and start a pick-your-own biz for a dollar a stem. What are the cottage laws in your state? Can you sell baked goods? Canned goods? Dried herbs or spices? Since you have access to land, dried herbs and spices would probably have the highest profit margins. You don't need any fancy equipment to dry them, and you can package in small bags that are cheap.
Sorry I have no advice when it comes to finding a job because I've always made money on my own so that's the only advice I have to give. And I've done this since the 90's using flyers and putting them up everywhere and I can tell you it's only gotten easier with social media to start your own biz overnight and get eyes on it quickly.
And depression or not your husband has to contribute to the survival of his family. Depression usually stems from lack of purpose, he needs something to occupy his time. He can help you make money off the land by working with you as a team. It wasn't that long ago that if a person didn't pull their own weight, then they didn't eat.
Oh goodness I am not starting another business!!!? I lost thousands trying to start something on the weekends. Ive dried herbs and made soaps and candles and knitting. Sold at a loss or not at all.
Then I learned a half dozen programming languages. I made my own apps, technically for money it worked out to 5$ an hour, I guess I could go back to that. That is the most profitable thing I've done.
It feels like I am crappy at everything I do. I am not sure where it goes wrong. At in person 9-5's they love me dedication. I've never had a bad review. But other then that it just doesn't work.
Many people do not understand the commitment in time, money, and energy when it comes to starting your own business. With four young children, you are already tasked with four full time jobs. If anything, you are doing too much, and taking on the bulk of the responsibility for your family. Your husband needs to step up - according to your description, it seems like he’s the fifth child. Being over responsible is a “condition” I am all too familiar with, and others see it and can’t help but take advantage. I pray for you and your husband, for strength and confidence.