I don't know what to do anymore. I have been unemployed for six months. I have applied for hundreds of jobs and I start a part time minimum wage job soon. So I cashed out my 401k to get a car to get to said job, but that broke down 3 days later.
My family thinks I am lazy so they don't want to give me rides anymore. I tried to walk to get groceries but that's exhausting, I have four young kids we need a lot of stuff.
I built my dream home on the family farm so I have almost no bills. But I don't know what to do. I just feel hopeless. If I move to a job I would have to pay thousands more a month for rent but I am broke. My husband is deeply depressed so he definitely can't help with anything. My family wants me to kick him out and marry a rich guy but that seems like a terribly immortal thing to do.
I've always believed that when God closes a door he opens a window but I can't find a way out of this.
Oh goodness I am not starting another business!!!? I lost thousands trying to start something on the weekends. Ive dried herbs and made soaps and candles and knitting. Sold at a loss or not at all.
Then I learned a half dozen programming languages. I made my own apps, technically for money it worked out to 5$ an hour, I guess I could go back to that. That is the most profitable thing I've done.
It feels like I am crappy at everything I do. I am not sure where it goes wrong. At in person 9-5's they love me dedication. I've never had a bad review. But other then that it just doesn't work.
Many people do not understand the commitment in time, money, and energy when it comes to starting your own business. With four young children, you are already tasked with four full time jobs. If anything, you are doing too much, and taking on the bulk of the responsibility for your family. Your husband needs to step up - according to your description, it seems like he’s the fifth child. Being over responsible is a “condition” I am all too familiar with, and others see it and can’t help but take advantage. I pray for you and your husband, for strength and confidence.