I believe that unless you are raised Catholic, you probably would not have an appreciation for the profound sense of terror the breaking of that particular rule invoked. It has lessened in subsequent generations, but in my grandmother's day, the total control exerted by the church would simply not allow her to consider such an option.
The fear of hellfire was a very real and a compelling reason to put up with all kinds of abuse from her husband.
My husband had an aunt (same generation) whose abusive husband drove her to divorce in spite of the church. The poor woman ended up with electroshock therapy to deal with the emotional upheaval of this "sin" preying on her mind. The church was not known for its empathy to abused women and advised them to stick it out because marriage is a sacrament.
Now personally although I am a Catholic, I can not believe a merciful God would require a woman to stay married to a man who burns her children with cigarettes. But perhaps my understanding of the nature of God differs somewhat from that of the clergy.
Nevertheless -- I do believe in marriage and have been married to the same man for over 45 years. BUT...I was a very lucky woman and God gave me a husband who treated me well. So I can say my marriage is truly "sacramental" and believe it with all my heart.
However, no one will ever convince me that my poor grandmother had a sacramental marriage. I do not believe God intends anyone -- man or woman to suffer a lifetime of grievious harm at the hands of another.
The key term here though Is "grievious harm". I totally agree that marriages should be made with a serious intent for lifetime commitment. And the dissolution of any marriage should not be for frivolous reasons or simply a desire to change partners.
Thanks for sharing all this...I have many family experiences that track with yours, and am thankful every day to have been given the grace to rise above them.
I can say my marriage is truly "sacramental" and believe it with all my heart.
Agree, same here (which is why loss of my darling this year has hurt so horribly--the sacrament truly makes Two into One, and without the other, it's just staggering around in a kind of mutilated state...even as I know where we will be reunited some day).
no one will ever convince me that my poor grandmother had a sacramental marriage. I do not believe God intends anyone -- man or woman to suffer a lifetime of grievious harm at the hands of another.
Can competely track with this.
Again, and not to be contentious, my point was about how the Divorce Industry swoops in to make money and power off of these incredibly painful instances, and how that meshes with and exploits biological instincts like I noted previously.
Thanks for the give and take, and in such a strong and obviously caring vein as you offered.
I believe that unless you are raised Catholic, you probably would not have an appreciation for the profound sense of terror the breaking of that particular rule invoked. It has lessened in subsequent generations, but in my grandmother's day, the total control exerted by the church would simply not allow her to consider such an option.
The fear of hellfire was a very real and a compelling reason to put up with all kinds of abuse from her husband.
My husband had an aunt (same generation) whose abusive husband drove her to divorce in spite of the church. The poor woman ended up with electroshock therapy to deal with the emotional upheaval of this "sin" preying on her mind. The church was not known for its empathy to abused women and advised them to stick it out because marriage is a sacrament.
Now personally although I am a Catholic, I can not believe a merciful God would require a woman to stay married to a man who burns her children with cigarettes. But perhaps my understanding of the nature of God differs somewhat from that of the clergy.
Nevertheless -- I do believe in marriage and have been married to the same man for over 45 years. BUT...I was a very lucky woman and God gave me a husband who treated me well. So I can say my marriage is truly "sacramental" and believe it with all my heart.
However, no one will ever convince me that my poor grandmother had a sacramental marriage. I do not believe God intends anyone -- man or woman to suffer a lifetime of grievious harm at the hands of another.
The key term here though Is "grievious harm". I totally agree that marriages should be made with a serious intent for lifetime commitment. And the dissolution of any marriage should not be for frivolous reasons or simply a desire to change partners.
Thanks for sharing all this...I have many family experiences that track with yours, and am thankful every day to have been given the grace to rise above them.
Agree, same here (which is why loss of my darling this year has hurt so horribly--the sacrament truly makes Two into One, and without the other, it's just staggering around in a kind of mutilated state...even as I know where we will be reunited some day).
Can competely track with this.
Again, and not to be contentious, my point was about how the Divorce Industry swoops in to make money and power off of these incredibly painful instances, and how that meshes with and exploits biological instincts like I noted previously.
Thanks for the give and take, and in such a strong and obviously caring vein as you offered.
Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your beloved spouse. May God bless you!
I return those Blessings to you, fren. Thank you.