Remember, we all were still asleep at some point and most of us until atleast the last decade. There are those who thought mistakenly they were on the side of good. Please have the grace you wished you could have been supported with for those deserving.
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You know, sometimes it takes a metaphorical punch in the nose to wake people up. And once awake, they are grateful (usually, unless they are very weak people.) Don't tip toe around her is my advice. She's an adult. If she literally can't handle it, then let her go because in the scheme of things, this is not something that should send her over the edge. If she can't handle this, she can't do life very successfully. "Treat others how you would like to be treated." Intelligent people want the truth. They don't want to be lied to. They want frank and honest truth. That's my suggestion. Good luck to you. I hope you're able to work things out.
Kindness rules, as does tough love.