Trucks, cars, rifles, and pistols seem to have a mind of their own, and do dastardly deeds without their owners knowing about it, doncha know? That's why I keep guns locked in a safe, so they don't escape and do bad things in the middle of the night while I'm sleeping... same with my cars, in a garage with the doors closed.

Apparently these inanimate devices have had their own Great Awakening and are now a menace to humanity. We feared AI and SkyNet... we never saw the real danger in our own simple tools and devices. I mean,in a time when thousands of pagers can simultaneously explode and take out actual living people, we should all just curl up into the fetal position, have our food delivered by Uber Eats, and never go outside again, right? Am I right??!!