Hi GAW, its taken me a while to write this, its hard not to write paragraph after paragraph.
But I really need prayers. I've been trying to leave an abusive relationship for months now, but, whenever I would try, my partner would have full blown CPTSD flashbacks and strobbing, full mental breakdowns, and then have side effects for days after (he has Catholic priest trauma, the main reason I never just up and left cold turkey).
But now he is homeless, and living with me and my family (I am legally disabled, so I was staying with my family until I got my backpay to get back on my feet, and being with him has drained all of it. So now we are BOTH living with my parents and siblings)
Its gotten to the point where he is having full blown seizures every day, can not work anymore, and he's become more abusive than ever, leading me to self harm, which has actually caused him to become even MORE abusive(this isn't even mentioning his AI hallucination work..).
I would have left him on the spot, but I was trying to get him set up with a place before I left him, because he has a daughter he only sees every other weekend, so I don't want to leave him homeless, without a job, having seizures, and no way to see his daughter.. But..
He truly has been a horrible person to me, is completely ungrateful, wants me to abandon my family that has constantly helped us and given us money, and this isn't even going over how he has, multiple times, had massive screaming fits at me, that Trump is controlled opposition, Q is controlled opposition, and I'm stupid if I think any of this is real, and that Trump is orchestrating his family, to inherit whatever is left of the Earth, after he destroys it.
I see no good way out of this, that isn't by the grace of God, and God's hand working it out, so I ask for your prayers that I'm able to leave this relationship, with minimal fallout. Thank you GAW. This is truly the only place I feel safe and sane.
Christian counselor, not secular. They will dismiss anything religious.
Not Cath. They will want you to work your way out of it.
Took me almost 50 yrs to be shed of the lingering disease that CSA leaves. June 2, 2022 healed.
I prayed for death. I had self-loathing, self-isolation, agoraphobia, paranoia, fear of betrayal, spontaneous crying. I broke. Losing career due to retina disease abruptly was the last straw. Many many traumas. This is not about me....its about tbe Grace and Mercy of Jesus Christ that took it all away in one fell swoop that night.
I could go no lower. It's different for everyone. I will fervently pray for you both. Its all i've got. I love you both. I cry for him, although I'm a tough, testosterone-infused, reckless abandon 63 yr old in a 24 yr old body. Deep, deep scars, although healed, thry are sensitive and sympathetic.
There is no worse thing a child can experience. More than death...i know...both of my siblings, older twin bros, both suicided. One when evil demon Mason next door got me in 3rd grade. Other 9 yrs later. Horrific guilt ensued.
There is a new life awaiting in His arms. I am in perpetual awe at my new life...in color, family back and always joyful...not always happy, but joyful. There is hope.
Romans 12:12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation and be constant in prayer.
What a Powerful testimony of God's grace and power plus your personal resilience. Thanks for sharing.