I feel you in every aspect. I couldn’t have said it better myself. Dumb people will claim “midlife crisis” or some other BS but the day to day itself can BE depressing. Watching our world go to shit, worrying about our kids or loved ones. Just the every day monotony sometimes… work just to be ABLE to live. It’s hard to see things in a positive perspective when you just don’t feel positive some days. I like that you feel hope though because you should. As a kid I was voted happiest student. Even up to high school I was the one to always put a smile on people’s faces. Even today my customers at work come to me with their problems and leave happier (and not as hungry 😜.) I’ve gone through some crazy shit the last year and I’m just now getting back to “me.” So just know you’re not alone, there’s like minded people that feel the same as you and hoping you find what you’re looking for 💙