Lately I've fallen in what feels like a rut of life. I feel numb to all that life has to offer me. I've spent a year with a very taxing new baby who I love and adore but has been my hardest baby yet and my third. Now into toddlerhood, still very much more difficult then my other two children before I feel there is a hint of light at the end of the tunnel. Still I'm just numb. Nothing that I used to be passionate about brings me much anything. From gardening to farming, to writing, to starting new projects etc. I used to leap at the chance to do any of these. Now I can't seem to start anything. I'm plagued with fatigue and mental tiredness. I've done it all to try to alleviate the issue, great diet, plenty of vitamin, lots of sun, long walks, light exercise 4x a week. I'm no longer in darkness but not in the light either. I'm an avid Bible reader/studier but even here, I feel I've lost my spark. Like I've lost my first love. I'm just reading out of duty, praying out of duty, going to church out of duty. Which is so different from a year or two ago. Now to the point. Any recommendations for a personal Bible study, (preferably tangible like a book) about finding the love for God again, I'm not mad at God or faltering in my faith, mentally I rock solid believe in his grace and salvation but . But currently emotionally I feel a whole lot of nothing about everything. I'd like like to think it's better than the darkness but honestly I'm not too sure it is...

Very thought provoking and interesting stuff! It's an easy read (often times a bit too repetitive) but the meat of the book is fascinating. I've known much about Baal, and Molech but not so much about Ishtar. Had no idea she was a "gender fluid" goddess, who's priests were cross dressers. That's just a glimpse of some of the few astonishing pieces of the pagan cultures revival in America today.

As stated above this is just me spitting out morning coffee thoughts after a Biblical read of Psalms.

To preface, I view life on earth as a continual repetition of patterns and echos of the past present and future which can be well documented in the historical book the Holy Bible. It’s prophetic in the sense that it openly predicts the future, and also in the sense that its stories continually repeat patterns of what the future holds.

I myself find Trump as a very Davidic - like pattern.

David: outside Sauls family or dynasty

Trump: political outsider

David: continually hunted down by Saul, continually being slandered by Saul as a dangerous rebel trying to tear Israel apart

Trump: Hunted by political opponents, and the media during first political campaign

David: Is established as King despite the obstacles

Trump: Wins election despite everything against him

David: Rules and Israel prospers majorly

Trump: Rules and America prospers

David: Has flaws of Pride/lust (Bathsheba)

Trump: Has flawed past of marital affairs and playboy lifestyle

David: Repents of sin but suffers family consequences down the line

Trump: Cleans up his playboy lifestyle but is haunted by the likes of Stormy Daniel’s because of his past

2Samuel 15-18

David: Loses his Kingdom for a moment with the betrayal of his son Absalom and his trusted advisor Ahithophel. He has to retreat outside of Israel

Trump: loses re-election likely due to multiple betrayals including his trusted advisor VP Mike Pence

David: Ahithophel advises Absalom to let him lead Absaloms army and take out the David rebellion. Absalom ultimately rejects Ahithophel advise and decides to lead the army himself into battle. Ahithophel rejected as a leader sees Absaloms plans to be futile and goes home and commits suicide.

Trump: Bidens administration two factions? One with Pence leading being rejected? Suicide weekend?

David: uses his military to fight Absalom, the military advises David he must stay out of the fight, because if he dies there is no hope for victory. Civil War begins. Verse of interest

Trump: Possibly same scenario currently?

David: Absalom in battle gets caught in a tree and is stuck defenseless. The military ends him

Trump: Will his enemies end up in a precarious situation that leaves them defenseless? Military strikes the final blow?

David: Mourns the death of his son Absalom but is told by his commander to buck up you have a country to lead

Trump: Will Trump lose something close to mourn? Or perhaps be broken up by the many lost lives of the crossfire ? (Jabs?)

Now this is as far as I have read today and I have to get my day going. But I needed to write it all out. Again this is all merely conjecture but I do find it very interesting and just needed to see it all drawn up.

I’ve been very sick for maybe 2 -3 years, most would never have noticed. During this time I had my 3rd baby, so I chalked it up to this is just what having 3 kids is like . I’m 33 and physically fit. But the fatigue I had was unbearable. I was getting 8 hours of sleep, every night. But every day it was still wake up tired, take a mid day hour nap, wake up tired, fall into bed by 8pm exhausted. I was depressed from the fatigue. My skin was starting to act up. The brain fog was the most debilitating, I’ve always had an amazing memory. I won several awards throughout school for my memorization skills, now I could barely remember to pay bills, buy milk, was it Friday or Tuesday, what’s that word for such and such? I finished reading a book one week, and 3 weeks later I couldn’t remember the main characters name. I was having cycle issues which I’ve never experienced. Again I considered maybe im old and have 3 kids, but everyone else I know in the same age bracket seems fine. Other than all the under the surface issues, I was physically fit. Just that last 5lbs of stubborn baby weight but I’m in all my pre baby clothes again.

I was in a constant state of stress. After covid, I knew better than to go to my doctor and say I’m tired, stressed, depressed, and can’t think. We all know it would have been diagnosed as anxiety, here is an SSRI. Enjoy.

So I started replacing all our food for the better non processed version. I tried keto, felt much worse way more tired, maybe it’s keto flu? So I stuck it out but saw only worse results after two months, decided ok I’ll eat Whole Foods, but obviously I need carbs. Let’s reset. So I looked into intermittent fasting. I stuck with it again for two months to only feel the same if not worse.

Also this whole process is peppered with me getting every single cold and stomach bug my children brought home from school.

I then looked into a 72hr fast, perhaps I just need to detox some terrible thing out of me and start over. I made it to 60 hours (it’s extremely hard, especially when you still have to cook 3 meals a day for your kids) after that I felt no difference, same exhaustion, same mood swings, same constant illnesses same feminine problems.

I was running/exercise 3 days a week, eating better than I had in my entire life, getting 8 hours of sleep, making sure to get at minimum 30 minutes of sun(most times hours) taking VIT d, magnesium. Drinking herbal teas of ginger and tuner if nightly. Everything was the same. And then somehow through the brain fog I remembered in 7th grade I was diagnosed with Gilberts syndrome. A “benign” diagnosis I had been told which just leaves me a tad jaundice when I’m stressed or sick because my liver does not process bilirubin well. I looked in the mirror yea, I’m definitely looking a little on the “golden tan” side. What if it’s not benign? When I had gotten diagnosed there was zero information out there. Well I decided to look into now and there is so much more to work with. Doctors still call it a benign issue but there are a plethora of personal forums stating the opposite. And guess what I found one doctor who has dedicated there practice to the issue because they have it too.

Turns out fasting is a huge trigger. Low carb is a huge trigger, high fat is a huge trigger. High impact exercise is a trigger. Stress is a trigger. So the more I was trying to make myself well the more I was self sabotaging myself. The first trigger was likely the 3rd baby because hormones are processed through the liver and if the liver can’t keep up it just flood the body with the backed up hormones and now you have a hormone issue and a bilirubin issue. This was my problem. The bilirubin was up, making me yellow, fatigued and down right sick. The estrogen was way up giving me even more horrible problems, from skin, to cycle, mood swings, water retention.

This doctor listed the supplement combination and diet plan that works specifically for Gilbert’s. I’m on day 4, just day 4 and I made my bed, cleaned the wrap around porch, did dishes, and laundry. This was an impossibility 5 days ago. I’m still not at the energy levels of before this all began but I have a lot of hope this was the issue and this is the solution. I’m just so thankful for Gods intervention, for him leading me to the solution. And that it’s actually working. I didn’t know where else to share it but I just wanted to share it. If your sick too, I know a lot of us have been, I pray God gives you answers too, I know how hard it is to be under the surface sick with no answers. I would love to pray for you.

I’m not a Bible scholar but do enjoy taking the time to really learn as much as is available on the subject. I’ve done many at home studies on the Bible Canon but would like to add to my learning with the other “non-canon” books. Would love to hear which versions you found to be most accurate/beneficial and any scholars/experts materials be it podcast/YouTube/ or supplemental study books you like to use. For example I use many Chuck Missler studies when reading my Bible and I greatly enjoy his breakdowns of each verse and their contextual meanings.

Growing up as a millennial, you got your gallon at the store and that was that. In grade school each year at least a paragraph if not a chapter was dedicated to the heroics of Louis Pasteur and his world renown life saving pasteurization discovery. But now, local dairy farms are offering raw milk, and I’ve a few friends who are swearing by it, as tastier, helping with digestion, skin issues, etc. but the CDC would lead me to believe if we buy raw milk we will all get E. coli and die . So just knowing that so many of you are leap years ahead of me on such subject. What’s the deal? Raw milk yes? Raw milk risky business?

If your church didn’t spend most of Sunday shouting from the rooftops praises to God for his merciful blessing on overturning Roe v Wade this past week, then its probably time for you to really evaluate whether your church is in the business of pleasing God or pleasing the community.

Do we have a leg up on that yet? Or is this just like the AIDS scare where you need to be actively trying to get it, If you get my drift