There were never cabals of satanist pedophiles. Adrenochrome harvesting was never a thing. Q, like all conspiracy theories, was just a compelling narrative with no basis in reality.

I believe there's goodness in everybody, and you don't need to be embarassed that you succumbed to this fantasy. Instead, try to make something truly beautiful out of it. The whole world is out there for you to rediscover. As it really is this time.